*the love and grace of God in my life..*

Friday, September 29, 2006

29th may - 28th sept
exactly 4 months before things come to a total haul
a moment of relief and a time of release

past memories of the moment - picture postcards for the mind

from strangers to pod mates to friends - companions worthy of keeping

when the clock hit 3pm yesterday, my heart leaped
from the nervousness of what's to come and what i might hear
through the one hour of conversation, i had a revelation on how the entire saga started and why it finally ended
the fact that i'm in their list of "our types of girls" amazes me
it has never occurred to me that way, but now i see things from a totally different perspective
the result of it, discounting whatever they said by a good 50%

and yep,
i've decided.
saga ended. lesson learnt.
time to move on

the last time i'm saying it
the next time you catch me harping on it, pinch me.

//posted by ivy @ 14:48//

Thursday, September 28, 2006

despite only facilitating one class this semester, i still find myself struggling with the module admin work
it's weird, because initially, i thought i wouldn't be used to the free days
now i realise, it's not free days actually
it's fire-fighting days.

i tried grading since morning
but i kept getting interrupted by emails and people asking stuff
eeks.

i'm supposed to finish grading by 3pm, then a short chat with a colleague i mentioned in my previous entry, then discussion with students, then a jog, then more discussion
eeeeeeeekks.

to top it off, i've not prepared for class tmr.
gross.
what's happening to "academic work is first priority"?
bleah.

//posted by ivy @ 14:35//

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

was on the phone with mummy last night when a msn conversation window popped up
it was from the least expected person on my contact list, under 'RP staff'

not many messages transpired, but they were daunting enough to make me think twice before crafting a response
in addition, they stirred up a sense of immense curiosity
at the end of the conversation, i promised to meet up over a drink in the cafe one day
the idea behind it all, i want to know what i deserve to know
and what better way than to meet up with the buddy of the subject

//posted by ivy @ 23:06//

an entry for you,

thanks for being there when i really needed someone so much
it's amazing how you are always there when i need someone to talk to about a certain issue which only you know it best
just a moment ago, i was recalling how you first knew about it
it was during the ferry ride to batam and i won't forget how i tortured you about it

auzzie idiots - not worth it
i've spent enough time on it and it's time to move on
give it a month; i should be fine
you take care alright, and i just wanna let you know that, i'm here for you too!

i love you, mummy!

//posted by ivy @ 00:37//

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

i'm super ill-disciplined today because there're a dozen things to be done and yet, i'm procrastinating, to no end
i sit here at my desk, looking at the things around me and memories just flood in

i remember the days where you used to drop by and leave little messages at my board, and i'll come to work everyday waiting to see what's new on my board
i remember the days where we'll head for breakfast if we've no facilitation or a drink in the afternoon where sleepy bug hits us
i remember the days where we'll chat on msn endless, almost every moment where there's network
i remember how encouraging you were during times when i'm tied down grading UTs and handling projects

it's all gone.
just like that
*click*

an excerpt from msg archive:
a princess who recently came to pod, and swept me off my feet

//posted by ivy @ 11:51//

Sunday, September 24, 2006

back from a 2D1N training at ubin with the service-learning team
it was a totally different experience compared to the one i went in august
i remembered blogging a very detailed entry about it, and i might just do so again now

ubin // 2 staff leaders // 17 students
[day 1]
gathered at 8am, changi jetty
by 8.30am, all arrived and we started our first exercise - PEEP assessment, before departing on the bum-boat and reaching aunty doreen's place just on time
headed off to another kampong which was already evacuated because of the falling roof
figured that it should be ok so we stayed there for timeline planning
after that, i had some of them who came to me and shared with me very honestly how they felt and what they thought could be done to help the entire team
i was so glad to hear that - to see that they have the ownership for the team, the project and the trip, to know that they are truly the bunch of people who will stand alongside with the staff leaders till the trip

headed back during noon and the students spent a great deal of time preparing for lunch
a good 2 hours and they whipped up rice, vegetables, fish and chicken, all using the traditional method of cooking
i hope it was a good experience for them because we refused to help in any sense
afternoon was social tree at the coconut place and then we had OSG to come down to help us with the EMS process
truly tiring session before dinner preparation
this time round, we asked aunty doreen not to provide them with generator so it was cooking and having our dinner - pasta, corn and potato in the dark

a small debrief for the day before we started the night session on life journey
glad that most were rather open and frank with how they felt till now
life journey took a long time but i'm sure it was useful to a certain extent
when it ended, some went to bed, some of us stayed up to talk to aunty doreen and her hubby
she got bitten by a centipede and we saw how her hubby reacted
they then shared with us some very useful tips that we are definitely going to need when we are over in chiangrai
headed to bed at 1 plus, where i had to squeeze with the guys because of space constraint
finally fell asleep only at 2 plus and woke up at 4 plus because of the noise outside - the malay girls were preparing their breakfast due to fasting period
it was only then i realised a guy student got bitten by centipede at his head as well

interesting night of rest i've
the guys were nice because i didn't have to sleep right next to the wall; they positioned me right in the middle, felt really protected
then i had my buddy who probably missed my twinnie too much that he thought i was twinnie in his sleep
and my idiot bro who attempted to numb my legs in the middle of the night, and then strangled me in the morning
but all in all, it was hilarious

[day 2]
woke up really late but still in time for breakfast and preparation for the last exercise of the trip - majoria/minoria
most of them were dead tired by then
did goal-setting before we left for coconut drink, and finally van ride and bum-boat back to mainland

it was quite a sight at changi jetty because all the girlfriends came to surprise their boyfriends!
headed for lunch with the ohanas and cedrik was so nice to send us back to the west
i had a good sleep in his car and he actually could remember where i stayed after sending me back few nights ago
it's amazing because he's not even from rp and we hardly, really know each other that well yet but he's so close to us!

~the end~

through the trip, i've the following to say:
- i've no idea how the closeness among the ohana started but i'm so thankful for them
- sometimes, the youngest member can be the most matured member
- those who went through much in life have a lot to share that we all can learn from

2 more months to the trip
i'm feeling really excited if i stay focused on the macro aspects of it all
but i'm also determined to do what i can to ensure that the team is ready and a fulfilling trip for each individual as well

//posted by ivy @ 20:36//

Friday, September 22, 2006

school term started yesterday
the night before was a nightmare - being in the office allocating the 106 classes and inputting the quiz etc
plus my co-module chair couldn't be around on the first day and i was also on stand-by
i didn't think i had much decent rest that night

things went smoothly yesterday though
a little confusion in the morning but was settled fast
went out with ohana yesterday for dinner at bugis
chill-out at jiaming's place after dinner and cedrik sent me home after that
super tired.

first class today
initially thought the class was a real quiet one but turned out to be quite okie
guess they still need some time to warm up - i really hope so, else i won't be looking forward to each week

had a series of meeting after lessons and preparing for ubin training tmr
still stuck in office now, waiting to collect stuff from ALC before going off for dinner
haven packed yet - not a surprise right?

weekend is 3/4 gone, with me being at ubin
then again, it probably would be a blasting time ahead~

mood for yesterday and today:
pure silence looming around
emotions running all over
time to pick up and move on
not worth it, you.

//posted by ivy @ 20:33//

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

i'm dead beat from the class chalet
despite not doing much, but i guess i didn't exactly rest very well amidst all the issues happening in the office

it was a horrid day yesterday
the worst of all ever since the whole saga started
it was also the end of the saga
our nicks probably reflect our mood for the day
"Shadow where the sun don't shine"
"Sweet memories that haunt and hurt"
it has to come at such a time - where i probably need all the support i can from office/dept/pod

today was overwhelming
the number of calls and emails i've to answer and reply to - insane
i figured i'll be stuck here, right at my seat till late night
tmr's the first day of school, semester 2
i'm not prepared, and i'm scared.

//posted by ivy @ 16:25//

Monday, September 18, 2006

it was a crazy rush this morning
doing up the materials for briefing in the afternoon
lunch was a real rushed one - couldn't concentrate much on my food with the back of mind still thinking of what to do/say but i've got real interesting colleagues who used the situation to spice up the lunch time and at the same time, tease me endless
all in all, i'm real glad i've much support from the dept and those supporting the module
it's good to know that while fighting the G106 battle, they are alongside.
needless to say, my boss and co-mc have been real encouraging as well
they've not been that picky with the stuff i submitted and half the times i thought the materials will get rebounce back, they didn't.
haha.

briefing went on fine
mass briefing to the entire crowd at the boardroom was an experience
with my director, asst director and my future boss around, it adds on the unnecessary pressure/stress
but all were cooperative.
so glad.

more or less prepared for the semester so far
im real tired though
need a good sleep
the weather lately has been rather cooperative, but not when it's early morning and i've to wake up but, the bed seems to be sticking to me
ah
alright
time to focus.

had a long conversation with my colleague last night
perhaps it was the time of the night, because the usual me wouldn't probe such issues
then again, i suppose i should be glad i did
certain critical things were mentioned, and the way forward is pretty straight-forward
self-explanatory if you want to call it

time-check
i blogged all these in 3 mins.
the same amount of time i took to pen down my thoughts when i was at aloha.

//posted by ivy @ 17:13//

perhaps it's the lack of students during this holiday period
the school is quieter, seems to have more space to move around
i was walking around school and realised how much it has changed since the first day i started work in the new campus
while we were all complaining of the plain zen-ish design, with white and grey being the main colors, everything seems to fall in place nicely
i'm beginning to like the spacious design of the buildings, the lawn area when it's not raining and yeah, the open-ness of the entire structure

i'm beginning to love my pod as well
to be exact, my huge workstation
it's getting a little crowded and messy because yours truly has not much time to pack
started since the recce trip and stuff just stacked on.

backlog is killer man
i've actually set aside 3 hours on tues morning just to settle everything
let's see how successful i'll be
and i'm also intending to set aside one hour tmr just to clear my workstation up

it'll be a quiet 3 days ahead
sta guys are away
half of my dept people in my pod is away on leave as well
oh well.
i can survive

//posted by ivy @ 00:18//

Sunday, September 17, 2006

in the midst of doing up class allocation, stand-by list, buddy system and finalizing problems, reflecting on past events probably made me a happier person, for a while, on a sunday afternoon

The welcome sign on the wall
Made my heart bounced like a ball
Looking in the hall of people
I couldn't catch a sign of you at all

A walk out into the night
To catch a glimpse of your sight
Being twice at my side
I lost my focus I decide

** written at aloha changi chalet f; amazing what being in the proximity far away from office can do to us

//posted by ivy @ 13:50//

Friday, September 15, 2006

morning was filled with meetings to settle class allocation and problems etc
first meeting was at 10am and at 8.30am, i was still sleeping
the weather was simply superb for lazing in bed

headed to school via cab (again)
the meetings went fine
lunch was with a huge bunch of people
there was at least 15 of us!
but of course, the closer group of us sat together still

back to office for some admin work before leaving for NUS
helped choon hou to bring his students over for some entrepreneurship event
it was so hard to stay awake
after that was a short session of networking
saw my jc friend and while chatting with her, saw a guy whom i met last year at a global entrepreneurship conference
he could recognise me as well
that's how small the industry is
same series of events - almost the same people you can expect

after that, met a colleague from sta for dinner at holland village
having warm porridge at crystal jade while the weather drizzled on was a good idea

now back
thinking if i shld go sleep now
so that i can get my long, long rest
before meeting huihui tmr morning for the S-L proposal
might just head to office earlier to tidy up the loose ends
- do my presentation slides for briefing on mon
- clear ME01 6th P and etc
- class allocation, standby list
- buddy system
etc.

//posted by ivy @ 21:59//

Thursday, September 14, 2006

take a look at the following situations and tell me what you would do

you're the module chair for a huge module to come and have been fighting fire with your problem crafters and a particular director for weeks now. it's finaly your IG camp and after a long day of meetings, you make your way down to a place which is on the far side of the island. it's dark when you arrive and your students upon seeing your laptop asked,
"why the heck are you holding a laptop and why are you so late?"
"slacking at home ah?"
"huh? holidays also need to work? don't bluff lah cher.."

you're currently facilitating 2 or 3 classes and on days you appear in jeans on campus, your students saw you and asked,
"wah cher.. no class ah? so good.. then you come school for what?"
"huh? you mean facilitators dun teach everyday ah? damn shiok leh..so free/slack"

you're marking their horrid understanding tests of 2900+ scripts which has just ended a week ago, and when students see you in campus, they asked,
"cher.. when is the UT grade coming out? why you all take so long to mark one?"

you're having a bad headache thinking of a good problem statement and worksheet for the students and keeping in mind that those materials need to clear through a particular director, your students see you and asked,
"cher, dun need stress mah. i thought problem statement on the spot can think one?"
"uh? you all take so long to do meh? just take a problem and write it out lor.. only meant to torture us anyway."

you're rushing for your meetings in between lessons and staying late in school, your students see you on msn and asked,
"cher..why you always got meetings? nothing better to do ah?"
"aiyah.. relax la. go there and just listen lor, need to prepare one ah?"

you're taking more than one day to publish their grades, your students see you and asked,
"cher.. where's our grades? why so long.. you all only need to teach what."

......
sometimes when i'm packed to the max doing stuff for them and they posed me such questions, i just wanna scream at them
sometimes, i don't mind explaining to them patiently

random rants.

i'm still overwhelmed by the sudden joy that i don't have to see the particular director on a weekly basis anymore
whee~

//posted by ivy @ 21:22//

this time next week, i'll be heading over to my class for 3rd meeting
urgh
how fast time flies
the holidays have been a good time of relaxation although not much chance but the fact that the kids are not around makes a difference la.

had a great time of dinner and catching up last night
7 of us went for dinner - kok whye, juliet, choon hou, leslie, kelvin, jane and me
inner-circle gathering uh?
after dinner, we had an overseas call with mummy
i miss her!!
mummy, i've got so much to tell you!

had a good rest today; slept till so late
took half-day off-in-lieu just to catch up with my sleep

now that the issue with a particular director is over and done with
i should start being more organized and get things going
and i'm rather motivated to do that

time to go off.
tata~

//posted by ivy @ 13:57//

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

IG camp ended this morning
mon - we had a super long session of bbq, all the way till midnight before we are done! washed up, a short session with the yr 2s before attempting to sleep which was absolutely impossible. the yr 1s next door was making so much noise!

tues/wed - a test of their physical where we had laser quest in the morning and food game at geylang in the afternoon, and we then prepared our own sumptuous dinner till 9pm. a long dinner, stayed around to chit-chat till real late. we then went to explore around other chalets cos there were republicans around. chatted a while before making our way to changi village but we didn't purchase anything. haha.
had intermittent chats with colleague who is heading the other IG over at the next door chalet. finally gave up at around 7am before i went for a real short sleep till 9am. checked-out.

i'm now in office, zombified.
was back in office yday afternoon as well for module meeting with director of acad
and i'm back today for the same purpose
totally exhausted but there's still the dinner with kok whye and the rest tonight

one week before the horrible semester of 11 weeks commences
i'm feeling the jitters
and i really don't feel good given the stupid lags in our schedule, all becos of someone

gosh.
if you ask me what i need now
it'll probably be a nice warm hug before letting me zonk out.
horribly exhausted.

//posted by ivy @ 16:06//

Sunday, September 10, 2006

been a good ten days since i last blogged

1st-4th sept
a real insightful reconnaissance trip to chiangrai and chiangmai
we visited the various hill-tribes, payap uni and an orphanage and saw the past projects with mirror arts
at the end of the trip, we had a mini reflection and what hit me most was how much passion these people have towards service-learning and helping the hill-tribes that they were willing to give up so much in their lives

past few days have been a mad rush
reviewing problems is fine but not with some problem crafters who simply refused to believe that their problems were not fine
facing director of acad is not joke; up to clear problem but ended up listening to him talk for one hour and yet, refused to look at it
he's creating a huge lag in our time schedule!

dept retreat on fri was half-dry and half-fun
the presentation portion made me fall asleep
the laser quest was fun!
met jacob for the first time after him being here for the entire week
was only then i realised the world could get that small
he's the brother of my primary school classmate, whom i didn't quite like
he's the church friend of two guys, whom happened to be the closest guy colleagues i've in the dept
he's the friend of 5 of my church/crusade friends, whom they all refer him to talk to me when he first mentioned he wanted to join rp
he's my junior batch in ntu
and now, he's my colleague in the same dept and same portfolio
whoa.

session with S-L students yesterday was good
other than those who didn't turn up (and with no valid reasons somemore!), the rest who were present were good
had dinner with jackie, gareth, sze how and sulaiman at JP
for the first time, i felt so close to home!

tmr to wed will be IG teambuilding camp
next mon will be class bbq
next weekend will be ubin training with the S-L students
and not to forget, school starts next thurs.
gross.

//posted by ivy @ 14:23//