*the love and grace of God in my life..*

Friday, December 31, 2004

as i waved goodbye to 2004 and welcomes 2005
my heart fills with joy and peace
despite the things happening around and within
i know His hands are in it.

Thank God for His hands of protection over my parents
watching them through their days of work
the love they have showered upon me
is far more than i can imagine
In the new year to come, i want to love them more.

Thank God for His hands of guidance over my relationship
guiding us through each step of the way
zhongfa has never failed to constantly give
love, patience, encouragement and care
In the new year to come, i want to love him more.

Thank God for His hands of love over my friends
may it be sch, church or elsewhere
they have always been there for me
as the angels to bring me through
In the new year to come, i want to love them more.

In the new year to come
Daddy, help me to:
- love You
- serve You
- obey You

Dear Lord, i thank You for the wonderful year that has passed and how You have brought me through everything. I thank You for the good and bad times because You've been in those times with me. As the new year approaches, help me to love, serve and obey You so that i bring You glory in all that i do. Lord, i entrust 2005 into Your hands and pray that You'll prepare my heart for the new year. In Jesus' name i pray, Amen!

//posted by ivy @ 01:38//

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

disclaimer: this is an entry of random thoughts.

3 more days to 2005
i found myself asking "what do i really want to do in 2005?"
a new year ahead, full of changes and challenges
half of me is excited to see that things are finally moving, the other half seems uncertain how things are going to be

2005 marks my final semester in ntu
2005 welcomes the corporate working world when i graduate
they make me fearful to a certain extent

as for now, what i can do is to concentrate on my final sem, finish up and do well for my fyp
be of service to the youth and music min for the first 5 months before i leave for states
and when all these are over, i'll then have to ponder hard for my career

2004 has been a wonderful year for me
although faced with many fearful instances, lost moments and frightening times, i thank God for the everlasting faithfulness, grace and love that brought me through
the wonderful angels He placed in my life at some point or another
the understanding uni friends He placed by my side
my loving boyfriend who in all circumstances stayed positive and directed me back to Him. =)
and so, one of my personal wish for 2005 is to be a reflector of the loving and encouraging Daddy!

all of a sudden, i feel so vulnerable living on earth
what would have happened if the tsunami had hit s'pore? would i still be alive? my loved ones?
taking each day for granted is something i used to do
often delaying things that need to be done, pushing it to the next day, week or month
once again, i thank God for the gentle reminder that i should live each day as though it's my last day on earth (quoted from purpose-driven life)

many things on my mind
but i pray that in all that i do, i bring glory to Him!

//posted by ivy @ 13:35//

Saturday, December 25, 2004

just a quickie before bedtime
and cos i have to be awake slightly earlier tmr to prepare the bread pudding which my mum wants to bake in the afternoon

a few more mins before christmas ends
but i have had a wonderful wonderful christmas today!
woke up a little late but still managed to be down at german centre on time
met mike at the bus-stop, felt a bit weird initially but got better after that
the musical by the youth was awesome, i nearly cried
and not forgetting the drama by young adults
jon is a good actor! and jasmine is a good actress!
the rest of them were fantastic too! =)

went down town for a movie and dinner at suntec
met kelvin (zhong's buddy in ndu) at suntec, along with his gf, ivy
buddies have the same name for girlfriends as well..hehz
quite an interesting guy, the main discovery is that he's not as big sized as i've envisaged! haha. he betta not have access here!

alright
it's time to sleep
feeling real sleepy
i'v got no hp to wake me up tmr, kept my phone with zhong and forgot to take it back
hafta hunt for an alarm before i sleep
betta remember
tata

//posted by ivy @ 23:52//

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

i'm in a baking mode these few days

went to meet sharon for coffee in the afternoon
had an impulsive purchase of $50 on something that caught my eyes a few days back
after she left, my feet brought me to Liberty and i shopped for ingredients to bake a pizza and a bread pudding

came home and started digging my cupboards to see what i can do tmr
and i've decided.
pizza it shall be!
bread pudding will have to wait for another day

so far, have 4 people coming for x'mas
they say to confirm again
hope to see them down though

zzzZZZzz
it's thurs when i wake up later
and fri is booking-out day! =)

//posted by ivy @ 22:58//

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

dear came out last night for a few hours
to get home, grab his guitar and searched for chords
oh! those who had guitars at home were asked to go home and take their guitars down to camp for a performance/celebration on fri
thus, i had a missed call from his house and got me worried for a few seconds as i called back and await someone to pick up
all the while thinking he got himself sick so he got sent home
~phew

im still in happy mood
woke up early today and baked a butter cake
a wee bit burnt on the surface, dumb dumb me
adjusted the heating element on top to be blasting at 190C as well
no wonder

rushed off to meet fyp tutor after the frenzy bake
with my hands still smelling buttery no matter how many times i washed them
tutor was rather nice today
commented on certain things we did
said they were well-done
and i think he wants to let us enjoy the christmas season becos he din give much work
except for us to ponder who our sample should be
and get our hands down to writing the intro of the report proper
meeting him after x'mas
just when we're leaving, we casually asked how he was going to be celebrating x'mas
he said "oh..im a christian. going for church celebration, then in small groups."
he's a korean, doesn't speak really fluent english
but i supposed he meant church celebration and then, in cell-groups as well

these two days flew by just like that
i still have got no inkling what to do for x'mas
what to get for certain people
and the reason being, that dumb dumb kid of mine still owes me cashie
i gave her two very hostile smses last night
and issued her one last warning to pay me by today
else get her mum to speak to me
i doubt it'll work
shall see if my account increases its worth tonight

my room is in a huge mess
bad!

//posted by ivy @ 17:26//

Monday, December 20, 2004

i have the happiest weekends ever, in this entire year
not that i did not enjoy other weekends, but the weekends just over was special
at least to me.

dear came to my place for dinner on sat
caught a movie with marcus and gang at 9 plus
quite like the plot for national treasure though there were certain parts i din manage to catch
nonetheless, nice show!
upcoming show is ocean-12 on christmas

sun morn was eventful
my mum became very interested in my boyfriend all of a sudden
she asked every single question which could be asked
and even when i was showering, she still managed to pop a question or two

although din have much personal time with zhong this week cos he booked out on sat
and there were music pracs
but i felt really blessed at the end of it.

everything that happened during the weekends made me a happy girl
so bursting with joy that im yearning to bake a cake today or tmr! haha
i still have got no idea what to do for the youth for christmas
neither do i know what to get for zhong for christmas
hmmm, it's time to think hard
in the midst of my happy happy mode

subj registration in 2 hrs' time
the last time im gonna to have to register for my subjs
hoping to meet my fyp tutor tmr to settle some of our doubts before the break for christmas
it's also time to clear my room for the new year

there are so many things i wanna get.
like a new bible
a new notebook for my sermon notes
a new phone
but first of all, i need to hunt my tuition kid down
she still owes me half a K!
horribleeeeeee..

BUT.
that's not gonna spoil my mood
my cake will still be baked. =)

//posted by ivy @ 12:38//

Friday, December 17, 2004

results are out this noon
i did within my aim for this sem: 2A, 2B

while tina and vincent were exclaiming that those results are good
at least from the nus point of view
it seems to be only the norm in ntu
couple of people have asked if im in dean's list and sadly to say, im not.
it's really hard to get into dean's list, somehow.

the fifth time in uni years that i had to key in all sorts of funny identification numbers before they reveal the results
and for the first time, i was truly satisfied with what i achieved
simply becos there wasn't any Cs!

im so thankful that i could still perform up to my expectation with so many things going on this sem
a few more weeks to my final sem
the final lap before i can change my status from an undergraduate to a graduate.

received the work details for cedar point this morn
somehow, im no longer in retail
they put me under park operation!
weirdo.
gonna check with the rest of my frens to see if i need to email them and change.

for now till i sleep, it's finishing up my fyp research
meeting them tmr after music prac to discuss

and of cos, im missing my baby so much!

//posted by ivy @ 17:11//

baby, i miss you
so so so much

//posted by ivy @ 01:40//

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

back from the annual youth camp!

this year's camp slightly different, had it at a real campsite
took me a while to adjust to the sleeping condition, bathing facilities etc
despite these, i had a great time of praise/worship, sharing by pastor (i missed the one by aunty joyce), laughing at fun-nite items, playing games and talking to several people.

my co-leaders have been GREAT! (you know who you are!)
just wanna thank them so so so much cos they helped to take charge of the group whenever i need to be away either for games or others
the best thing is that many times, they were told to take charge last minute but they still took up the challenge! so proud of them..
celine! combined devotion today was done very well you know? despite some of us talking rubbish oredi! thanks gal!
i was encouraged at the deep level of sharing in the various small groups as well, esp during one of the night sessions.

and peixuan!
you totally made my day when i saw the bottle of green tea lying on my bed
especially when that appeared after the hectic preparation for games..such a sweet surprise.
and of cos im celine's guinea pig for the new icy qoo drink which i haven drank yet
im so eagerly waiting to finish the butter cookies in a nice piggy-bank given by my angel, which is one of my angelic co-leader!
but cindy! you totally gave yourself away at the very first card i received!
despite knowing that i knew she was my angel, there was a constant supply of cards and goodies from her! =)

really thank God for sustaining me thru the camp
the lack of sleep, many instances of "what am i supposed to do now?", the mad rush of games and frustrations of having many roles were things i gone through during the camp and i must admit they made me rather depressed to a certain extent
i dunno how, but God knew how and it was really through His grace that the camp went well

amidst all the preparation and running to and fro, the logis guys put a smile on face when they came to ask what can they help while waiting for the games comm to set-up. it wasn't the other comm members or group leaders but rather the bunch of guys who are always there to help out in whatever ways they can. i uttered a short prayer of thanksgiving at that moment. they have been a real blessing wherever they go with their servant hearts! =)

another thing to be thankful is that there wasn't disciplinary problem during the camp except for chasing ppl to sleep on the first night but it was really minor
they were co-operative and just asking them once did the trick
the sms by zhong before he booked in was a real encouragement as well. i simply stood where i was praying for a few mins after reading that sms. thank you dear!

and now, it's back to dreadful fyp
half a month more to my last sem
and a lot more to completion of fyp
my results are coming out on fri, slighly worried, really dun wan to get any Cs

i slept for 3 hours just now
but im still dead tired
zzzzZZZzzz

//posted by ivy @ 19:56//

Saturday, December 11, 2004

the aim was to prepare for the briefing on the first day of camp before i zonked off to bed and await the inevitable long and tiring day ahead
but i might just drop the intention to do so
im really exhausted, been looking through and preparing for camp the whole day - from briefing ed and joanie, to looking through my devotion, and calling co-lders and finally the whole evening of games meeting
totally cannot make it anymore
the only non-camp time was when i went to cut my hair and talked to zhong under the shelter with the storm raging outside

i must get sufficient rest before the camp itself
youth camp is always a test of staying awake despite your eyes threatening to close every second and your head nodding in agreement to whatever that is happening
im refusing to let fyp affect me during camp
i've got to submit my literature review of my hypothesis on the 16th, one day after camp ends
i seriously have not got the slightest idea how on earth i can achieve that
im supposed to do some now since it's no way anyone can finish writing that kind of research in a day
but i guess camp comes first
fyp?
leave it to when camp ends

Lord, grant me the strength!

my eyes are turning red and watery
need to go sleep
g'nite.

//posted by ivy @ 01:29//

Thursday, December 09, 2004

i can't believe what a packed tues and wed i had

tues was basically spent on fyp and fyp alone
all the way from 10am in the morning to way past midnight

wed morn was fyp discussion
then huijun came over my place and did some part of the questionnaire
my doctor's appointment in the afternoon
went to meet celine for dinner and catching up
to sab's house for prayer after that and stayed all the way till 11.30pm before we left
spent an hour plus after prayer to discuss games etc

and i feel horrible
knowing that tmr is spent doing games as well
fri and sat are meetings days
and i haven got down to preparing my devotion materials
neither have i called my homogenuous group
and neither have i touched on my fyp research
what's worse..i juz dashed the hopes of the gals when i msg and says i wun be meeting them for dinner tmr
celine: go make ur specs on fri okie? i dun think i can go with you ler..

can't spend any time with zhong this week as well
sat is packed to the brim
=/

sleeping time
need to reach sembawang at 9.30am tmr

//posted by ivy @ 01:15//

Monday, December 06, 2004

i'm blessed with a fantastic weekend with zhong

friday night was a blissful sleep after the totally unexpected sms from him
woke up early on saturday morning for fyp but was actually looking forward to the time with him after music prac. a totally sweet sms in the morning which said that he was buying ingredients for cooking dinner that night. made me hoped that tina would end music prac earlier so that i can go for my dinner, which she actually did.

had a nice home-cooked dinner
and watched a show about monks and gangsters in his cinema-lookalike-effects living room
sunday was a switch of role
he rested after we came back from church
while i went to ransack his kitchen cabinets, drawers, fridge etc
to find ingredients for cooking dinner that night
dinner was... edible! haha.

this whole week is packed, packed and ...packed!
fyp, games.. driving me mad, mad and.. mad!

tmr is dear's bmt pop
nothing great for divers
he's only looking to the divers pop, which hopefully is a few months down the road
which only reminds me that my trip to ohio is getting nearer
and till now, i can't imagine myself packing my luggage, flying off on a 17 hours flight with a bunch of classmates to a foreign land, and staying and working together for a minimum of 10 weeks.

anyway, it's time to sleep
i have fyp tmr! which means, i need to be awake and alert!

//posted by ivy @ 23:08//

Friday, December 03, 2004

back from music min retreat
and i must say it was a great time!

1)Thank God for candice, the bbq with the absolutely mouthwatering food wouldn't be possible without her help
2)Thank God for the openness in sharing during group discussion and group time-out when we vented several frustrations
3)Thank God for wendy, who has so willingly agreed to let us put her name down next to the title "accountability partner" for now
4)Thank God for janice, angel and candice who joined forces during our group time-out and force a treat of fish & co from our dear moe teacher who tried to teach us chinese, maths and hokkien but stopped after we threatened to throw her downstairs
5)Thank God for the worship session by vincent, it was awesome
6)Thank God for the personal retreat session when He spoke and took away the doubts
7)Thank God for marcus, who kindly provides the bottle of prickly heat so that i can fall asleep last night

even as the retreat comes to an end, im reminded to pray for the fire, the passion to keep burning and not die down as we awaits the new year to come
im excited about the thanksgiving dinner (dunno yet, wendy merely mentioned) and the possible steamboat even!
and more importantly, im looking forward to drumming tmr! =)

it's almost nine in a while and i haven hear from zhong
which somehow translates itself to booking out tmr (really hopes so though)

i had fyp discussion in the afternoon juz now
with my half-sleepy eyes and itchy itchy shoulder
didn't manage to complete the draft questionnaire yet, and so i have to be meeting them at jurong east tmr morning

argh! i hate this feeling
been looking forward to fri night but dear is still stuck in sembawang

timeout!!!!
DEAR JUST SMS-ED!!!!!!!!

hahaha
just when i was whining to myself..
im going to have a wonderful wonderful day tmr! =)
dear has wonderful wonderful plans!
and that notti boy has been thinking about his weekends since wed.. notti notti~

*poof to fyp
and a itch-less good night rest
and a wonderful wonderful day tmr! =)

//posted by ivy @ 20:25//