*the love and grace of God in my life..*

Sunday, May 28, 2006

a week of shock, surprises, fun, laughter, joy, frustration and tears...

Unexpected changes in the dept are causing some of us to feel really sad and lost. To add on, it doesn't exactly feel good to be knowing some information that most are not aware of it yet. I feel so trapped.
Went for lder's training on thurs and felt rather weird. I thank God for huiwen who came to talk to me on msn at such an appropriate timing, and the reminder that the spirit of fear is not what He has given me.
Frustrated at my own students and their inability to perform and i then realised why i'm here - to nurture and develop them. I shouldn't be feeling this way at all, i have to learn to be more encouraging and sensitive.
Thankful for students from one of my classes who (surprisingly) have been the source of my laughter this entire week. The week started real badly but ended with a really high note. Went for a movie with them on fri after school, dinner at mac and ended the day at the playground, with them singing at the top of their voices - happy birthday to you.
Went out for dinner with sau yee, jasmine and her boy boy at TCC for a simple bday dinner.
Being caught in the middle of a war between some of my colleagues and i've unknowingly become the pawn of their chess game. A quote from x-men 3 goes "in a war, the pawn goes first." Keeping silent and doing my fair share of the work has also landed me in the midst of office politics. Help!
My asst director probably gave me the biggest heart attacking news when he simply hollered for me in the library and asked me the short yet consequential question. It resulted in me calling up and talking to several people amid the shock and not being able to sleep much that night. Pray, praying, prayed. The news travelled up the corporate ladder and my director gave the green light. It essentially means I'll be stuck in rp for the next 10 months.

i've got absolutely no idea how the next few months will be, and i'm feeling excited, anxious, scared, all at the same time.

//posted by ivy @ 13:51//

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

celine's msn message shocked me,
my boss's question shocked me,
my baby's phonecall shocked me,
a chat with my colleague today shocked me as well.

i've got enough for the week!
stop!
one or two is fine
4 news in 3 days!.. i don't remember professing that i've got a strong heart.

//posted by ivy @ 23:59//

Monday, May 22, 2006

it's a horribly disgusting day
and i absolutely detest it.

today's class is already one that i do not really fancy
things just had to be made worse
one group was showing me all kinds of attitude, with a couple snuggling away, one black-faced because she likes the guy who is happily showering his attention on his gf, the other two in the group were basically stoning
the other group had people who are basically, passive. period.
yet another group was chatting non-stop today and it was tremendously hard to get their attention
the quiet yet smart group remains status-quo which im thankful for
the other hyper group was also a little hard to get through them
the class was simply so dry, so tense and if i'm given the choice, i would have screamed at them upside-down

had lunch-time meeting and that didn't exactly made me feel any better
baby called when the meeting ended; it was a short call and i still can't believe that he has flew off to brunei
my IG gals were panicking over the welcome session on wed and im once again irritated by my ex-co
i promise myself that i'll personally give them a lesson on how to send proper email, how to chair effective meetings with prepared agenda, and how to take minutes.
this is pissing me off too much.

my day 2 class made my day a little when they ordered pizza
so i went over to have lunch with them
the class atmosphere was so, so different and it is a joy just to be with them
there're no cliques in class, everyone is basically ok with one another
and that makes my life there so much easier

went back to class and dragged another half an hour before they are ready
most of the groups attempted to smoke through today's lesson but i ain't a fool
once again wanted to scream but i decided to keep my cool
questioned them till they had nothing much to say, followed by a mini lecture of how they have to improve themselves in class if they want to do well
went through the presentation and went off straight for my IG meeting

my president was around for the meeting, yet she didn't do much
in fact, everyone in the ex-co seems to be better leader than her
and the disappointing fact is that almost all of them have improved in their own ways ever since the appointment in april, except the president
went back to office at 6pm, only to receive calls from my students to ask me to head down to canteen
they wanted to study for test tmr, but ended up.. as usual, slacking.

the entire group waited for me to pack up and we left campus together
didn't want to head home yet, so we headed to mac to get a drink and ended up chit-chatting till 10pm before i got really tired.
after such a long and tiring day, they are actually the ones who cheered me up!
thanks W25L!

//posted by ivy @ 23:50//

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

didn't feel like blogging for the past 2 weeks or so
have been going home late, sleeping lesser and having more things to juggle with
tired.

lessons with my students were fine
i'm much closer to my day 2 class, than day 3
the former is also more responsive, more participative and fun
i still need to put in a bit more effort for my day 3 class

CCA launch is over
sign-up membership is 258 and still growing by the day for my IG
just as we were worrying about the sign-up rate because we didn't do much publicity, the students just flocked over
and now, we have the problem of having too huge a membership
the new batch of ex-co for the IG has a lot to learn about, and i've been stretching myself a lot by attending all the meetings and hoping that they learnt something from it.

first UT is coming up for my module and im very worried
it's fully paper-based, which i mean i've to flip through 2675 copies of answer scripts and finish marking within 2 weeks
not to mention that some of their handwriting is really horrible.

NLB event is drawing near
co-ordinating with the students is ever a hazzle
the yr 1s are enthusiastic and i feel myself being stretched to the max simply by guiding them.

office politics drive me crazy
expecting more changes in the department as well
gabriel, one of the close colleagues left last week
my RO is going through a tough time at home, he's in a depression mode.

10 months in rp.
i hope i've not lose focus on my main objective of choosing this job.

//posted by ivy @ 13:42//