*the love and grace of God in my life..*

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

it's been a tiring week
mum got hospitalised again, this time round being more serious
warded her in a higher class ward, hoping that she gets better care from the docs and nurses
they did an operation on her last fri morning, moved her to ICA before going back to normal ward again on sun
yday, she seems much better
not so drowsy anymore but still can't eat and move around
hoping to go down hospital early tmr to get hold of the doc and question him her situation
apparently, she is still under the same doc as last time, who is kinda sickening
bad attitude and stuffs
but the good thing would be the extremely nice staff nurse at the ward, who is my senior back in st. marg's

times at home are spent washing clothes, lining them out to sun, ironing them later
cooking meals, washing dishes, cleaning the kitchen
sweeping the floor, dusting
so tiring!

//posted by ivy @ 16:15//

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

this week is ending pretty fast..
though i've skipped a number of lessons too, but im motivated to do up the report and presentation soon so that i can enjoy the weekends ahead
mum was discharged this afternoon, i think she looks better oredi.

later going down town to meet tracy for dinner
fri will be T3's cooking day!
sat will be preparing for refreshments for good fri event
will be spending so much time with the gals during the weekends!
they make me smile! =)

alrighty
going to help my mum cook porridge for her dinner
oh yah, im so proud of myself the last few days!
i ironed ALL my clothes (5 jeans and 20+ tops?) and dad's clothes
sweep the floor everyday.. and make sure the kitchen is clean
cooked lunch twice and my dad finished the food w/o complaints.
hehe.. dun u think i make a good housewife?

*poof

//posted by ivy @ 15:43//

Monday, March 21, 2005

though the beginning of last week was awful and tiring,
i was blessed with a nice weekend!

i had the company of celine and zhong for dinner last friday at chinatown
just when i thought that was quite a nice way to end my week, i was so wrong
sat was even a better day!
despite handling all the household chores on sat morning till ard 1pm, and had to rush to prepare this mini-game i thought of for cell at 2pm
i arrived just in time for youth to start
was glad to see the gals who came
yes yes, tracy, you deserve a badge!

lesson was rather short that day but they had to pay absolute attention cos of the mini-test that was at the end of it
the winner will get a dinner treat from me
but my three babies are smart! becos all three of them got full-marks!
and so, their wonderful cell lder has decided to treat all of them! (im beginning to sound like si'er right?)
four of us with zhong and shuhei, we had dinner at kfc
one of the best times i enjoyed with them!

sunday was fantastic!
i remember telling janice that bishop was either very zai or unprepared
he had nothing in front of him when he shared
all he had was his Bible which he so often read from everywhere that i was amazed by his memory!
but of cos, i came to the conclusion that he is both zai and well-prepared
a simple message which i almost got lost in the middle of it cos i was thinking of a particular issue
and God decided to use bishop
because just a few mins later, he spoke on the exact same thing on my mind
which at that moment, i made the decision which has been haunting me for a few weeks
told my cell gals during lunch and they were shocked
zhong had the same response

today, something happened regarding the same issue but im proud to say my decision is not swayed
becos im convinced by what im called to do
spend time on things which last for eternity!
i thank God for reginald, si'er and angel who were so encouraging last night when they knew about it

si'er, im thankful that im serving alongside with you! (but again, the wonderful tertiary cell lder doesn't read blog!)

i was reading arlene's blog
and i felt the exact same way whenever i received such smses from my cell babies
there was one such sms last night, which read "you are a God-sent!"
i was almost in tears as i read it
thank you gal, you know who you are!

//posted by ivy @ 23:09//

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

i haven been to lessons this entire week!
skipped mon's tutorial since we had to discuss our resort stuffs due on tues
skipped tues's resort since i overslept due to a late night on mon where i slept at 3 plus?

spent the entire afternoon at hospital yday with my mum
she was still vomitting and not able to consume solid food
fed her some porridge during dinner before i left
hopefully she din vomit them out after that

this morning was spent washing all the clothes at home
figuring out if 50C is too hot for my clothes
swept the floor and tidied up the kitchen
dad came back with lunch and after that, it was some more household chores
and now, im thinking if i shld do some work before heading down sgh
mayb not, it seems late
i gotta leave sgh later at 6pm for tuition
so i guess im off to shower and for the first time, do my work in the train

this week hasn't been exciting
although submitted fyp on mon, but somehow, the joy hasn't got to me yet
mayb it'll after i submit my electronic copy!
which im given till the end of the month to do it

my year 1 classmates asked me out for dinner on fri
ang mo kio, gonna be eating crab
though i think im wasting money cos i dun usually manage to dig out much flesh..
but i guess it's a good opportunity to catch up with them
13 of us, if im not wrong
been long since i last talked to all of them, since we're now dispersed in biz sch

//posted by ivy @ 13:07//

Sunday, March 13, 2005

im thankful for the conversation i had that night with celine and arlene
even more thankful for the worship session before youth yday
though i was late and missed out on the front portion, but the last song made my tears flow once again
a song so close to what i am going thru
it was so hard to sing initially and all i did was look at the words which were sufficient to make my tears drop

thankful for the cell gals who came
was quite worried i'll affect the atmosphere of the cell when im feeling so down myself
but one gal's presence made me smile!
i was surprised but at the same time, soooo glad to see her! =)

had a wonderful afternoon today
mum seems to be getting better as well
the week ahead looks exciting with tues night's outing with the gals!
and finally... fyp submission tmr!
YEAH!!

//posted by ivy @ 22:44//

Saturday, March 12, 2005

consistent to my msn nick,
there is the sudden onset of the feeling of lost-ness
i just can't put my finger to what it is
but it's making me wish that someone's shoulder is available for me now
someone who dun mind having his/her sleeves wet
sms-ed dear but he's asleep,
and so, im online but aimless

the very people whom you invest your time and energy on
may be the source of your joy at times
but they may also be the source of heartache at other times
am i doing enough? is there something that i've missed out?

my departure details are confirmed
flying via EVA, on 5th may, 1.10pm
less than 2 months away.
im having a terribly mixed feeling
especially when i think of what's likely to happen when im away
will my cell babies be alright? will my r/s with them be affected?

just now during cell,
we were talking about having some events during the holidays
i'm going to be missing out on so many things
how will my r/s with the rest of the leaders be affected?

mum happens to fall sick now
it'll take some time for her to recuperate
being conservative, they dun really enjoy meeting new people and i find it hard to introduce church ppl to them
how will my mum cope when im away? will my dad be sensitive enough?

i dunno abt dear's schedule during that period of time
i can't be around for him on weekends
i dunno if im able to be online often
will our r/s be affected in any way?

i'm
scared.

//posted by ivy @ 00:37//

Thursday, March 10, 2005

it's been a long week
somehow, this week passes really slowly

it's finally friday tmr
with lots to complete
first on hand is none other than fyp report
last lap to go, we're all tired but yet motivated to finish it up, and of cos, do it well
i haven really prepared well for sat's lessons as well
not to mention, haven gotten the bday gift

just when i thought it's more relaxing after fyp submission, im proven wrong today
there's another employment law assignment coming up, my grp is presenting on sexual harassment
and danwen has got a fantastic idea
which is..
on-site demonstration!
stupid guy right? =)
and so..
i've one more presentation for employment law
one more presentation for resort, but i've 4 deadlines - one per week till the presentation day
one more assignment for change mgmt - due pretty soon
and one more presentation for change mgmt
that sounds like... a LOT~
but i've to admit.. it's the least in my 6 sems in school!

mum got hospitalised this evening
she's been complaining of uneasiness in her gastric area
went to see the family doc and he said her arthritis medicine might be giving her some gastric prob
today, it got worse after i left for lessons
my dad said her gastric area bloated up and became quite hard
she was complaining of pain and stuffs
vomitted as well
so she went to see the doc again who referred her to A&E immediately
accordingly to dad who drove her down, the pain subsided after the doc gave her some very strong medicine
but she had to stay for observation and since she couldn't eat, she had to be on drip
the arthritis is causing her so much inconvenience.. and i know she gets depressed over it at times.. =(
shall see how is she tmr.

im really tired
off to sleep

//posted by ivy @ 23:17//

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

mon was a crazy day filled with projects
had a mini discussion in the morning, followed by tutorial
after which, we glued our butts in the comp lab till 9pm!
typing, editing, typing, editing and more of such
till our stomachs protested and with numb icy fingers and legs,
we made our way to the 24 hrs kopitiam for dinner
spent a nice 1.5 hrs there eating and talking, as though fyp was over
but no, it wasn't.

came home and surrendered to my bed
woke up the next morning at 7 plus to continue editing and typing..
all the way till noon before i passed it on to huijun
then it was off for another project discussion
supposedly meetin caroline for late lunch but she had to go home to tend to her didi
so i came home and slept for one hr before tuition

today
i woke up at ungodly time again
12.35pm!
the only thing i did was to head down to novena to submit my application for visa
wanted to do my report for change mgmt but i guess it'll have to wait till tmr morn

my fyp tutor set the deadline for submission for final report on mon
im praying very hard that we'll complete on fri, so that i can have my weekends with the gals!
oh yah, i almost forgot to blog this down!
someone made my day and encouraged me so much thru a simple sms she sent
she's someone who is currently not attending cell
and so, i sms-ed her last night and asked if i could meet her
she told me her reasons etc.. but the best part was..
she said that the next time im going out with my cell babies, ask her along!
woah~ that was totally unexpected!

i thank God for the courage to drop her a msg
i was contemplating for such a looooong time.. and wondering what kind of words shld i write..
since the number of times i've sms-ed her before can be counted with one hand
such a joyful feeling~ =)

//posted by ivy @ 22:34//

Monday, March 07, 2005

God is full of humour,
He works in ways which amazes me,
leaves me speechless,
and i could only marvel at His ways.

my previous entry talks about the very conviction of investing in things that last for eternity
and i must admit that i struggle a whole lot with it for the longest time
there are simply things which im so very reluctant to let go and let God take over
one of which is a person who is very dear to me - my bf.
and it's so true, when you're convicted of wanting to do God's will, you can be sure that Mr. SA Tan will drop by, trying to take that away.

this was what happened...
tracy sent a sms to some of us, informing us that there's her bday celebration on sun afternoon after service
my first reaction was 'but.. but.. sunday is the only time i have with zhong, and the drumming gals know how reluctant i'm to give up that timing for anything else.'
it was an inner struggle, a constant battle between my recent conviction and what the human emotions desire
a while later, i told her i could make it
which means i wun get to spend time with zhong and sending him off
even though i made that decision, a huge part of me was still thinking of where we could have dinner so that maybe.. just maybe i could still manage to see him off
there's also a small part in me to want to send a sms and tell her i can't make it, despite knowing that she might feel disappointed since it's 21st bday.

fri night, he gave me a call and said he has to book in on sat evening
and i went 'this can't be such a coincidence right?'
of all weeks, this week you have to book in on sat and of all weeks, tracy's celebration falls on this week
of cos, i was rather glad that i din have to struggle with wanting to be with both sides on sun
but i got quite upset as well, that i wasn't able to spend much time with him
i think it was a mere hour or two on sat evening
on top of that, my fyp mates wanted to meet on sun afternoon for our 2nd draft
i know that is important and one of my top priority but i really didn't want to disappoint tracy.. told my fyp mates i dun wan to meet
in fact, i've never really done any work on sundays, wanted it to be a day of rest
they sort of agreed.. so i was spared

service was over, i had to teach violet some stuffs, keep my drums
there was some hiccups here and there.. and to be honest, i felt really sianz after lunch
nobody could make up their mind where to go, and i dun want to take the lead and decide
sat down and stoned
i was going back to the room when i passed by the sofa and saw the remaining few youths
something stirred in within
i went to pack up the drums, settled everything and decided that i have to do something
in the end, the gals had the adventure of travelling to angel's place for some crappy session, then to holland village for dinner
i must say that those few hours were perhaps the highlight of the day!
we had a fantastic dinner, with great food and wonderful company! =)
we had a good chat after that as well..and the surprise came when my phone rang
zhong called! he could book out and so he was coming over to look for me

i was feeling all kinds of emotions within
God really has a good sense of humour
the way He puts things in such a manner which taught and tested me on so many things
apart from having an enjoyable time with the gals, i had a blessed time with zhong last night!

what a weekend!

//posted by ivy @ 23:31//

Friday, March 04, 2005

it's fri once again
a day closer to seeing my baby and the weekends ahead

was coming back from tuition last night when i bumped into weijuan on the bus
she's a fren since st. marg's days and we've been through quite a lot
same class, same eca, same proj, same everything!
although slightly drifted apart when we split up in upper sec, and she went on to poly while i went sajc and now uni
it certainty din feel so when we chatted on the bus yday
it's such a joy to see her dedication in church, she just ended her tribute program
and since she boasted that she got her driving license oredi, she says supper soon
no problem gal.
and we parted.

had a chat with celine last night
haven done that for a long, long time and i do miss talking to her
such a dear sister to my heart

after which, i realised im having a free day today since my fyp draft is not back yet
sms-ed my best fren and asked her out for dinner
we dun meet up so often anymore since we came into uni
both our courses are pretty demanding, plus she's on internship now
but it turned out she's free tonight and so we're off for dinner at town

people around me have been saying and telling me that investment in people is the best investment to do
whenever i hear that, i agree and nod
but it's a totally different thing when something tugs at your heart and nudges you to do more than what you're doing now
and so i've started to try to do more this week
asked one of my cell babies out for lunch earlier on this week
going to spend time with my best fren today
and sun with the drumming gals and hopefully another of my cell baby
although there were concerns like 'im getting broke from eating out so often', and 'i could have used the time to catch up on my readings' or 'i wanna spend time with my bf' etc etc
these excuses simply disappeared when i made up my mind to follow the strong prompting
in fact, there is this unexplanable joy whenever i meet up with someone or simply call to have a conversation with someone
indeed, im not just convinced but im convicted of the need to invest in things that will last for eternity
and that is.. people.

//posted by ivy @ 12:19//

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

i woke up at 10am this morning
considered quite early for me on a non-school day
the reason behind was my undone law essay which constitutes 20 marks and im not risking doing a slipshod job

have been behind the very screen you're looking at since morning till now
attempting the essay which literally drove everyone mad
and it's driving me crazy right now!
i've only managed 1,000 words so far and i've not tackled the toughest part of the essay - adaptations to be made to Employment Act, which i've only 500 words allowance
it's time to get ready for tuition, and when im back, i'll be glued to the screen.
tv screen, that is.

when will i finish up my essay?
by the way, it's due tmr. =(

//posted by ivy @ 16:56//

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

sun
finally stepped out of my house since i was stuck at home for the week to nurse my eyes
sermon was impactful and it got me thinking and convicted of things
went over zhong's place after that and had him telling me all abt his hell-week experience
it was pretty hilarious.. things people do when they're physically and mentally drained

mon
it was spent typing my fyp report for submission on the day itself
there was lots of amendments to make and stuffs but we din have time
submitted quite a sketchy piece of work
rushed for tuition and came back hoping to prepare for resort presentation the next morning
was too tired though and fell asleep after talking to becky abt courses

tues
supposedly to wake up early at 6 plus but i slept on till an hour later
reached just in time for class to start and the allocated slot for my presentation was after the break
thought i could use the break to at least rehearse thru my points
then my tutor came up with some funny random allocation of presenting and commenting groups
in the end, we din have to present, simply comment on two other presentations today
what a relief~ considering i would be so ill-prepared if we were called to present

class ended early
went off to meet caroline for lunch at swensens
chit-chatted for quite a while before she went for driving and i headed home to sleep
was talking to danwen just now regarding the SIA thingy that i missed
overall, SIA seems a pretty inviting place to work at
and to top it off, they only want 2nd upper hons grads
we sort of concluded that since we were invited to the talk, we might stand a chance at 2nd upper hons after all
made me feel so motivated to do well this sem to ensure a good hons
resort shouldn't be too big a prob for me, as well as change mgmt
im only worried for employment law which seems hard to catch and vague
and not to mention i've not touched the assignment which is due this thur and stands 20% of total

it was last night when i was talking to becky that i realised it's been a few years since i came to church
i recalled the first few months after i was in church, it was the release of PSLE results and the batch collecting their results was eunice, jasmine, becky etc
at that time it was about which sec sch to go, which stream
and yesterday it was O'levels! and they now have to decide jc, poly or ci!
A'levels is coming out this fri.. i can remb so clearly how i felt when i collected mine, who were with me and how my phone was ringing like mad
how i jumped and screamed when i received my results slip.. it was hysterical! *just like eunice yday! haha!!*

leong is taking his results on fri
so fast.. it was just two years ago when the whole family was so happy cos he did so well for O's
oh well, they're growing up and im aging! =(
makes me feel kinda sad that after two years plus, he's still the only person i haven really tried talking to much
mayb i should add him to my msn and start talking to him online first?
hmmm.. ?

//posted by ivy @ 21:44//