*the love and grace of God in my life..*

Monday, November 29, 2004

have been really packed these few days
juggling between games for camp, food for retreat and research for final yr proj
not that they're coming to an end, but at least i could take a short breather from research during the retreat
and right after the retreat is meeting with supervisor etc and games oredi
packed packed hols!

birthday celebration for zhong on sat went quite okie
although the plan for the mini-surprise din go through cos we left german centre late, but we still had an enjoyable dinner at fosters, holland village
the super comfortable sofa seats while having the 2 hrs dinner
with the not-so-fantastic ang moh singing live with his acoustic guitar halfway through the dinner
the blur waitress who blurted out to dear that i ordered a cake for him
but all in all, the ambience was nice, and the food was good too. except for the irish coffee maybe.. hehz.

caught a show after that at jurong point
'incredibles'!! nice! =)
i had a good laugh over it

tmr is a long day in school for the interview workshop
it's been ages since i last had to wake up at 7 plus!
and wed-fri is music min retreat
sat is packed with meeting and music prac as well
what a packed week!

off to sleep
ta-ta

//posted by ivy @ 22:39//

Saturday, November 27, 2004

my dearie is back home
and i jumped when i saw his name flashing on the screen of my phone when it vibrated juz now
there i was just thinking about when he would call
and moments ago had si'er asking if he was out
now now, tmr should go smoothly as planned. =)

im gonna get some rest now
need to head to school tmr morning for some experiment thingy
then back for lunch, down to german centre for camp comm meeting
and the rest of the day with belated birthday boy!

zzzzzZZZZzzzz
ZZZzzZZZzzzzzzzz

//posted by ivy @ 01:06//

Friday, November 26, 2004

to all cedar-point girls:

guess what?
our last paper (employment law) ends on 4th may!
that's no way we can make it to US earlier
argh~

just checked the exams timetable so that i can choose my electives
and if i get int'l tourism (which i dun seem to have any other choices), i'll have my last three exam papers in my life to be equally spaced out on every wed
can't believe this, i've so much time next sem to study for each module!

this is weird
nus people are still mugging and taking exams while im talking about exams next sem
hur hur
can't help it
have to start planning for electives, US arrangments etc etc

i should get my butt out of here
now
i've got fyp in school
oopsie

//posted by ivy @ 12:50//

Thursday, November 25, 2004

i hope i din make someone angry with me for something i said to her, and i hope i din say the wrong thing to him when he asked for my opinion just now

came back not long ago from meeting for music min retreat
im quite looking forward to it though i've got to prepare the food thingy and such
never been a food i/c i realised, time for me to learn something.
tina! you've got to help me..geez

youth camp coming up real soon
and yes, im excited about it too! im so looking forward to it although on my part(the games), not much settled yet
but we'll do just fine! =)

time to sleep
and wakey real early to prepare fyp tmr morn
have got a discussion tmr afternoon
a foresee-able long long one

and tmr is dearie's bday
BLESSED BIRTHDAY drums shi-fu!
Hehz Hehz

//posted by ivy @ 23:47//

before i blog, i must say sorry to celine and tracy
with everything prepared for rock-climbing and in the end, we din go
so sorrieee..

but now we're going west coast to cycle (hmm?) and blade maybe
hopefully the weather is good.. it's cloudy now.
and then in the evening, we have to rush to meetings.

fyp yday was okie
we realised our dec is so packed and there's so much to do
and it got us panicky and scared
the deadline is awfully cramped
met janice and gang after my fyp
had a long games discussion and more to come this sun/next week

better get my butt to the bathroom now
and oh yah, it's thurs oredi
fast fast =)

//posted by ivy @ 13:06//

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

post-exams can get really tiring as well

having fyp discussion tmr and i still have a huge pile of literature reviews to read in preparation
gotta accomplish quite a lot this hols since deadline is feb

and at the same time, the hols is pretty packed with retreat, camp prep and other stuffs as well
i did apply for the one month temp job with 6 hrs a day
i dunno if i'll get it and if i do, can i afford to work?
though i know i probably need the cashie for my US thingy next yr

decision about ministries is making me feel...argh!
simply speechless.. and i thought about it even while trying to get to sleep last night and when i woke up this morning, it was still there

im beginning to get slightly worried for the games in camp
don't want to be pushy but it feels weird to sit back and wait for things to get done
especially when i more or less know that we got a lot to do, but i dunno how to say it out and not stress them out
and most importantly, i dun wan to take charge of it.. so i just let things be
i guess if there's no initiative soon, i'll step in

rock climbing again this thurs morning
im pretty excited! hehz..
going to be a larger group of us..more fun!

dear's bday thingy is more or less settled
though i haven gotten down to doing his pressie yet, buying the pressie and getting my hands to it
but at least i settled something juz now
haha.. bet he'll never be able to guess it! well, in fact, i haven heard of anyone giving that kind of present before! =)
he better like it.. i raked my brains!

it's a long week
and i seem to be needing to meet quite a few people at different timing this week
i got a feeling i'll forget
where is my organiser?

//posted by ivy @ 14:42//

Friday, November 19, 2004

my arms and legs are aching!

despite my stretching last night and before climbing today
then again, they should ache since im not using the professional method danwen and wilson attempted to teach today, which really makes climbing the wall so much more relaxed and easier
but i dun get it! and so, i used the amatuer method which is simply grab whatever i can see and step on whatever is available
with danwen shouting below on what i can do next; it seems so hard when im halfway and suddenly i dunno my next move

liting scaled both the walls today! she's good!
i managed to finish my first wall
second one, gave up at the incline
so effectively, i did 1.5 walls
shall attempt the one i din finish next week if we're going again

tmr is a long day
having my last tuition with the notti gal who still owes me a huge sum of tuition fee
youth lders' meeting, music prac and a dinner
now it's time to sleep
and awaits the worst to come tmr morn - more aching parts of my body!

//posted by ivy @ 23:52//

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

an extremely long day that just passed

my paper was so-so
it was done in a rainy day, in a cold cold room
with me scribbling away whatever i can remember from the few pathetic days of memorising
let's just hope whatever i write is relevant

games meeting was fine too
we really have a lot more to cover and firm up
as much as i dun wan to make decisions and leave it to them, i find myself saying things like "no no, cannot. we shouldn't play this game etc etc"
i must always remind myself, im only here to help them and guide them based on the past years of little experience

met huiling after that
had a good chat, and a great deal to pray and think about
im glad she is so understanding and patient, even after my numerous attempts to reject and push away
the human me says "no no NO!! i dun want. NO more!"
the wise huiling says "pray pray pray"
and i know she's right

im still thinking about a particular thing she mentioned
that chim chim word i din understand till she explained
and now, i got something to ask you
huiling, i'll ask you when i see you.

time to sleep
and before that, i must pray
*closes eyes and bows.

//posted by ivy @ 23:08//

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

the eve of my last paper
im not slogging my butt off
instead, im slacking my brain away

suddenly, the end of exams doesn't seem to be interesting and exciting anymore
not when i saw the hidden pile of fyp readings to be done
not when i know how packed im gonna be doing empirical research and meeting fyp tutor every now and then
eeeks! im dreading fyp meetings.. sigh

i haven decided what to get for dearie
suddenly had a couple of new ideas
mayb i'll just stick with what i thought of, im a lazy girl

this post doesn't have much sequence or meaning
im just here to escape from the horrid looking textbook and notes with absolutely no colors nor pictures

i wish i can stop the time from ticking away for even a while
so that i can sit back and marvel at the wonderful things that have happened in my life
for the loving people God has placed in my life in my 21 years, although some had drifted apart, some i no longer can remember their names or faces
but i know these people and the things they have done have made an impact in my life and God has used these to change and mold me

i look at my parents and the things they have silently and lovingly done for me since i was conceived
and im so thankful for them
i look at zhongfa and the things we have gone through together
and im so thankful for him
i look at God and my life today
and im so thankful for the unconditional love

and through all these people, i know that i always have someone to catch me whenever i fall, someone who always accept me whenever i fault, and someone who always love me.

thank you God

only God knows how many times i've burst out in tears and drowned in them due to certain body conditions
only God knows how many times i've blamed Him for it and after which, took back my words
only God knows the fears that are in me whenever i think of my future and my condition
and yet, only God knows what He is trying to teach me through this

Dear Lord, i pray that You take away the fear that has been in me. Help me to always place You in focus and know that You have a purpose for everything that has happened and will happen. Help me to love this creation of Yours and i place my life into Your hands, knowing that whatever is going to be in my way is according to Your purpose and will. In Jesus' name, Amen!

//posted by ivy @ 13:56//

Monday, November 15, 2004

i love you dearie!

i've been spending my entire weekend with dear, from fri till today
it's the rare long weekends that army guys get and there wun be much for the rest of the months to come
the next prob is chinese new year, which i dun think it's a weekend anyway

dear has been nothing but sweet, caring, loving and extremely patient nowadays
and of cos, i see that once again last night
i'll never forget the words he said, the assurances he gave
they meant so much, so much to me
thank you darlin!

and i better get going to bathe and get my butt to bugis
juz when i thought it was a long weekend, it's over in a few hours' time
now it does get a little depressing, cos for a moment, dear seems to be like a civilian
nahz, shall enjoy my day.
tata

//posted by ivy @ 10:30//

Thursday, November 11, 2004

i stayed at home the whole of today but din accomplish much
managed to finish only one chpt of reading
and it's pathetic.
cos as for now, im only done with half of the book
and i got half more to read, and to memorise the whole book before my paper

the week hasn't been nice to study
i go to sleep pretty early, say midnight but end up waking up near noon
i'll then get sleepy after lunch again and by the time im more awake, it's time to slack and watch tv
argh! this is bad!
horrible.
and to think i told myself last week that im aiming for an A for this paper
i can kiss it goodbye now.

and at the same time, say hello to youth camp
im meeting fyp tutor before the camp so i guess i can make it to the camp after all
met jan and tim yday to discuss games
quite okie so far.. i think we'll do fine
games comm always survive every year although we always do last min work! hehz.

weekends wun get to spend much time with dear
and cos he sms-ed something wrongly this morn (either that, or i saw the msg wrongly), i thought i wun get to see him much despite the long weekends
and it got me totally whiny!
but of cos i have something to look forward now
we're going for steamboat on sun evening! hehz.
it's pigging out weekends this week
sat night will be at weihan's (sharon's hubby-to-be) place for bbq.

i've got to finish quite a bit tmr before evening and sat before afternoon
jialat.. time suddenly seems so tight for revision
gotta visit lala-land

//posted by ivy @ 23:11//

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

the fact that im blogging everyday means im slacking!
wahahaz.

i knew it
the 2 weeks break to study for LTD backfired, quite badly
the tendency to just slack and wait for the next day to come is great
and today is wed oredi! oopsie.

i covered 1/3 of my LTD text for the first time
means i have not started memorizing all the facts
merely reading
i've got till the end of the week to finish reading the remaining 2/3
and next mon/tues to memorise
argh! better start bucking up

gonna try reading somemore then off to meet janice and gang for camp games
wonder if dear is booking out tonight or tmr morn.
i miss him. badly.

//posted by ivy @ 11:18//

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

dumb dumb danwen
dropped me msg in msn
and guess what it said??

"hey..cable-ski in batam! check it out!

and yes, i did check it out and of cos, was amazed at the rate.
cheap cheap..haha!

but we decided.
nov/dec is too packed for so many things
and so, it shall be HR class outing during our last semester! =)

celine: m'sia trip confirmed ah? tracy? i haven ask leh. better pray hard candice dun wanna meet you on fri, then it's shopping and zhu du tang! wahahaz.

and im off to be a hardworking gal
i mean.. try to be one.

//posted by ivy @ 20:27//

Monday, November 08, 2004

the official news:

im heading to a certain somewhere after my final exams next sem

cedar point
sandusky, ohio (united states)
4th may

the exact departure date is not confirmed yet, but it's gonna be between 4th may to 8th may
the return date is not confirmed yet as well, i have to decide if im coming back for convocation after all

and yes,
u bet im excited about it!

but of cos, there is mixed emotions to it
and im so sure that i'll face pre-departure dissonance!
bet i'll whine about my decision to leave for ohio
though it's a few months only, but i know i'll turn teary and whiny

in the meanwhile, it's studying time for my paper
and look forward to the exciting events after that
climbing trip, dear's bday, camps, christmas!!

//posted by ivy @ 15:14//

Sunday, November 07, 2004

beautiful sun, but im a sleepy gal today
i tossed and tossed in bed till 4am before i finally slept.
woke up at 8.30am and i was a walking-zombie

service was long but sermon was short
had a time of ministry and quite a couple of long announcements
lunch was hilarious with huiling and celine constantly being our suan-ning target

went dear's house as usual
but this time round, i slept from 4 plus till 6 plus
haha! while that poor guy had to sleep outside cos i took his bed
i needed the sleep badly so i din even ask if he wanted to sleep..keke.
meanie girlfriend.
was a bit rush cos waited for his mum to cook dinner
but still managed to catch the earlier bus and reached on time
prayed for dearie while the bus was travelling along express-way
wished we could spend more time in prayer also.
and i haven hear dear play his guitar for long..

weekends never touch my books at all
yday went school, then novena, then henry park primary
but liting, i might not be able to go even if im selected leh
see whether they email me
after that, went down german centre wait for zhong to end his music prac,
and dinner at jurong west market
we ate a whole lot of food!
fried kuay tiao, hokkien mee, fried oyster and roti prata!!
spent some time at fav hunt-out no.2 as usual
and i haven been to blue-star place for so long!! *hint hint*

off to sleep
still quite zombie-y..
this entire week is gonna be studying week for LTD paper next wed
last paper! hehz

dear's training schedule pretty tight and shiong this week
dunno if it's class 2 this week but nonetheless, i felt really peaceful after praying for him juz now on the bus
cos i know that he'll be fine
and in safe hands!

//posted by ivy @ 22:41//

Thursday, November 04, 2004

im a pretty free girl from now till few days later
finished two papers oredi.. not that they are totally horrible but im more or less certain i wun get my As. pol econs din finish; sm today was sucky at the last qn
but shouldn't do really horribly so im quite consoled.

went out for dinner at kenny rogers, at suntec
been a long time since i went
dinner was pretty cheap, and the portion was huge!
i love the macaroni cheese but bev got sick of it after a mouthful, and so does liting. i think cos i was so hungry, i actually devoured the whole plate of 1/4 chicken, macaroni cheese, potato salad, corn muffin (very nice!) and the bottle of snapper!
walked around suntec for a while, went from mango to adidas to nike to levis to G2000..and finally outside Sincere watch!! hahaz!
i finally spotted where sincere is.. and if not for the sm case, i probably wun know the existence of sincere

backtrack..
i slacked the entire night after pol econs paper yday
was watching tv, stoning online till midnight
celine gave me a call..and prayed for me over the phone
i was reminded of zhong instantly
the way she asked what paper i was having, what time and the way she prayed..
so much similar to zhong's style
and i was so touched by that phonecall, by the little short prayer she said, by that little gesture of her calling me.

thank you celine! you'll never understand how much you've been a blessing to me all these while. the love and concern you showered, the encouragement you always give..God must have sent this little angel to me, cos He knows what i need. and you are this little angel!

while waiting for lunch today before going to school, i glanced at my cupboard and saw "utmost for His highest". haven read that for long.
took it out and flipped to today's reading
told God while flipping that i really needed Him to show me certain directions
He did! and i was taken aback!
closed the book and spent some time in silence and prayer

His love is overwhelming and cannot be comprehended
His ways are higher than my ways, and i simply do not understand
a life of faith, a life of trust, a life of obedience
not to myself, not to anyone else
but to Daddy up there
I love you!

//posted by ivy @ 22:46//

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

first paper - political econs over
the paper caused me to finally feel that exams are here.
ppt: you're not the only one who feels nonchalant abt the exams!
i woke up horribly late this morning and had only an hour to read thru 5 sets of notes on china, to file all my notes together and stick some tags on them. (it's an open-book exams)
i regretted not knowing how to speed-read but i guess i did master it this morning when i finished the 5 sets in 35 mins. the sets are pretty thick!
had some time before the exams commence but i din know what else i shld read so i juz stared at my frens who were reading away

when seated in the exams hall, i felt fearful all of a sudden
when everyone was totally silent while waiting for 1.30pm.. i prayed and ended right before the invigilator said to start
the initial 5 mins were full of flipping books, files and some oredi rushing to write their answers.
i spent a few mins choosing my questions and proceeded to do the more shiong ones..
spent lots of time on NWC and EGOIN theory..(it's so obvious it'll come out! lim chong yah after all. i shld have ate him up!)
and blur me.. thought the exams ending at 4.30pm!
when it's 4pm! yeah, and u guessed it!
i couldn't finish for nuts.
15 marks question grew wings and flew away
perhaps flew from the 'A' grade to 'B' grade!

so im not expecting much from pol econs
means im not expecting an 'A' after all
it's SM paper tmr.. pretty scary as well
the case is given oredi but all of us are afraid of the qns
and my tutor had repeatedly said that every year, most ppl fail the exam paper and it's due to class work that pull them up
well, at least im quite assured that my class work was done well

going out for a meal after the paper tmr
with diana, bev, weileng and liting
dear having his 16km route march tmr
i know he's quite fearful of that.. but i know Daddy will bring him through
hopefully his eyes have fully recovered as well
quite a surprise to be seeing him yday, and cos it's 2nd nov! haha. =)
and so i told him, next time u fall sick, make sure it's att c, home
not att c, cabin or worse, att b!
haha
*kidding!
he shouldn't fall sick so often in the first place

alrighty
time to log off and study once again
im hooked on the 9pm show anyway..kekz.

for those of you who know abt cedar point
pray for me k?
i have to speak to my parents either tonight or tmr night
the payment day is fri
and i've delayed it long enough
shall get it off my mind, once and for all
tata

//posted by ivy @ 18:07//