*the love and grace of God in my life..*

Monday, May 31, 2004

come to think of it, i did quite well
so i shld stop whining abt the C i have and be thankful and contented.

R keeps asking me for my grades.
i think he will know it soon from CM
i juz dun like it whenever he asks cos he juz wanna compare
when he get better grades, then he will reveal it
if not, he will keep mum after i tell him.

so no matter how many times he asked last sem and this sem, i have not told him my grades.
i dun wan to be competitive and he's the last one i wanna compete with.

supervisor on leave tmr from 1pm onwards
thurs oso another half day leave.
and im taking half day time-off on fri - subj reg
shiok.
wed is public hol.
this week is gonna pass real fast

thank God once again.
for the grades, for the times He brought me thru my studying, that no matter how tired i wld be or how demoralised i can get, i was still able to go on.
thank Him for the times He doubled my studying time when i had cell lessons to prepare, when i had to play for svc and spent so much time listening to songs.
for everything.

thank you Daddy..

//posted by ivy @ 23:09//

my exams results are out.
i got a double shock.

BH225 - C
BH227 - A
BH331 - A
BM351 - A

first shock: i got C for the stupid HRRM (BH225) which i spent so much time on the proj.

second shock: A for BH227 and BH331!!??
i skipped a lot for bh227 in the first half of the sem.
bh331 i din participate much in class and i din study half of my book.

so all in all, the C was a sore eye but the 3 As made me breathless for a moment.
thank God for the result.
totally out of my mind.

//posted by ivy @ 10:54//

Friday, May 28, 2004

at work now..but i've been surfing from 9am till now.
supervisor has super impt meeting later so she's preparing and i can't help. so she leaves me alone first.
quite tired now.. juz made myself a cup of mocha coffee. wanted cappuchino but decided against it.

had an extremely extremely long day yday.
i had half day off so i went off from work at 1pm
met celine to go down NSC for appt.
it's at 2.20pm but i arrived early and we left NSC at like 3pm! haha. so fast..
on the way there, we entertained ourselves with my new fishes!
they are my bday pressie from celine. 8 little fishes.
one of which i found it disgusting cos it's 80% transparent and i could see the skeleton even..
but the sad thing is.. it died last night after our dinner.
we tried to 'revive' it but sigh..died-ed.
took a 'funeral' pic of it and got rid of it. =/

after NSC appt, went down meridien for lunch.. super hungry
ordered laksa, mee siam and two bowls of cocktail dessert.
nice... i like the soursop! celine right? haha.

then went to meet zhong at PS.
i went to buy sticks.
this is my first time buying sticks on my own. chose it.. den asked zhong abt it.
i got a Jazz stick, Zildjian.
wonder how it feels when im playing.. we'll see it in a few weeks' time.

quite late liao..
wanling came then zhong and i left..
made our way to sentosa! woohoo~
buffet dinner at SEA Village Restaurant
very nice settings i could say.
we got a table right next to the sea.
could enjoy the sea breeze, hear the ripples of waves and droplets of drizzle..
but of cos, our food cooled down real fast! haha.
all of them there were tourists.
we prob are the only chinese.
ate a few rounds and really at our own timing.
a very good place to sit back and enjoy the evening. pity dear din manage to bring the champagne down..otherwise sure more shiok.
but then again, i dun really wanna drink alcohol.

ate and talked.
and we were the last to leave the restaurant.
asked them to take some pics of us.. and i took several pics of our surroundings as we ate as well.
the way out of the restaurant really felt as if im in a kelong.
the long walk along wooden planks..
very very kelong/kampong-ly!

i wanna go there again, not for the food that much, but for the ambience
the food was okie.. for me, anything is okie! haha.
and i had "cake" last night as well! hahahaahahah
well, u'll know it when u see the pics.

walked around a bit, took some more pics outside the restaurant.
took the bus back to harbourfront and before we went back, we transfered the fishes into the new tank.
one died.. nvm, still got 7.
so weird right? i felt a little sad when i saw the fish motionless.. hmmm, i really can't keep any pets, as dear said. cos im bound to be real sad when it dies..
sigh.. no chance to keep hammies liao..=/

spent some time at the fave hunt-out before dear sent me back.
din manage to go blue-star place since we were not in town..
so make do with fave hunt-out for the moment.

my supervisor discussing with some indian boss from other depts.. and they are pretty loud. each trying to get his/her point across..
haha. this is going to last long..

i end work at 5pm today.
how nice.. cos it's national family day.
everyone is supposed to go back and eat dinner with family.
weird huh.. govt came out with this!!

i do feel elated for my 21st bday.
thou dear says he din do much or plan some super surprising stuffs, but i appreciate all the effort he put in and him being with me for the celebration.
he really thought thru a lot..right dear? =)
other than breeks in holland village, the restaurant we went to is the next best place he has brought me to and a place i would wanna go back one day!

my parents seem to have completely forgotten about my bday.
no gift, no special dinner, not even a single word mentioned..
nvm..

okie.. enough updates for now.
pics shld be out pretty soon.. a few more days bah.
we din really take a lot.. but enough to let you feel the nice ambience i felt!
and oh yah, thank you to all who sent smses..=)

ta-ta
now, my supervisor got one more of her colleagues over.. and so, now got 3 arguing away.
haha.
i shld join in huh?

Lord, thank you for the great day i had.
for the 21 years of my life You have watched me through
i commit my remaining years into Your hands
and pray that You use it for Your glory

//posted by ivy @ 09:41//

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

my timetable for the coming sem is out.
i am having a 4 days week.
and my free day is.. wed!
again. haha!

but that wld also mean i can go send dear off during his enlistment.
and it would also mean i got more time to devote for cell next sem!
i always try to get my wed free and now, it's allocated!
haha.
my whole class had wed free, unless of cos some choose to take diff modules.

alright.
pack-up time.
i dun wan to stay late today.
hehz.
oh.. must tell my supervisor i need half day leave on thurs.
she's away.. quite long liao..
hmmm, hope she comes back before i go.
ta-ta

//posted by ivy @ 17:47//

Monday, May 24, 2004

3 more days to bday.. hmm.
i feel excited! hehz.

sat was a long day
i din argue with my mum. in fact, i din even say anything.
anyway, went for music prac super late. thank God they weren't unhappy.
songs were alright bah, managable. somemore, the pro drummer was around! haha.
he set up the drumset for me and guided me a lot. well, i wasn't really into drumming initially.
teared a little when we were playing "praises to the Lord".
i find it so tough there and then to sing and utter praises.
but after that, it got better and better.

bbq was awesome.
thank God for the food, people who cooked and prepared beforehand, young adults who came to give support, friends who were new..
and everything!
i went home with a smile as i thought of the bbq.

sun morning was a terrible one.
on one hand, my mum was grumbling and complaining away.
on the other, i was really trying to feel the peace of God and asked Him to prepare my heart for service.
drumming was okie on sun. in fact, it's the second time i felt satisfied after the whole praise/worship. the first was last sun when i played for edward.
the feeling is undeniably good, knowing that i have contributed to the overall worship experience and helped to usher people into His presence.

it inspired me to put in more and more effort in drumming. and on sun night, i could finally tell zhong that im not scared of playing for vincent anymore!
in fact, playing for vincent and having marcus as the 1st keyboardist is a real time to learn much more and a real challenge. must learn to take it positively.
if i have learnt anything out of music prac during the last few sessions, it would be to ignore the stares and frowns of others and keep on trying. soon, those frowns and stares would turn to small smiles and encouraging eye-contact.

celine and qiufeng came to pray for me after svc.. and i juz couldn't hold back my tears anymore. the more they prayed, the more i cry!
but at the same time, my heart melted when i looked up and see these two lovely babies praying for me.
they have not been a christian for long.. and that is the encouraging and warming part.
the usual thing people expect is "the older ones pray for the younger ones"..
so clinche sounding eh?
but the sight was totally different of the norm. and the words they speak.. went right to my heart.
i silently thank God for them in my heart.

and i had another heart-warming session after youth.
celebrated May babies and becky, marie etc bought a cake which was really nice. lovely candles which spelled out "happy birthday" nicely on the cake and they are filled with sweet scents that filled my nose and mind as i bent over to blow them out.

all in all, i had a wonderful and blessed sabbath day even though i wasn't feeling very happy in the morning.
being in the family of God simply cheers me up and God is so good. He even gave me the strength and sensitivity to pray and talk to several sisters.

spent the entire evening and night with zhong at the fave hunt-out.
talked abt everything and i'm thankful for all the sharings and little prayer and encouraging words that came out from him.

today's work was okie.
stayed till 6.50pm though. helped my supervisor do up her powerpt slides.
alright.. time to sleep.

have a blessed tuesday.
trust me, you will have something to thank God for at the end of tmr. =)

//posted by ivy @ 22:48//

updated
well, how accurate can i get?
it's 6.45pm now and im blogging from my laptop in the office.
/updated

half an hour more to knock-off time.
but then again, i doubt i can leave on time also.
well..see how later.

tonight will blog more.
my hands are stiff from typing for the entire afternoon under the freezing and merciless air-con!

*fingers-freezed.

//posted by ivy @ 17:27//

Saturday, May 22, 2004

my mum has been screaming at me since morning.
and when i said im going out till tonight..it worsened.
scolded me for always being out..
weekends always out..
sat, i got music prac.
sun, svc & youth

i dunno what to do.

*sobs.
it's 2.30pm now.
supposed to be in german centre in half hour's time.
but i haven bathe..
i'll nv be able to get there on time.

sab juz sms me, says she can't come later..
ask me to arrange for someone to collect fried rice..
argh..leave me alone!

tmr i wld need to leave my house super early..
confirm argue again.
i really dunno how.

how?
"Lord, dry my tears
and pave a way
show me Your love
and help me portray"

//posted by ivy @ 14:24//

Friday, May 21, 2004

photos are out! have fun!

i had a nightmare last night.
with only 10 days to go before my results are out..this dream is.. argh! scary.

i dreamt that dear called me and said he failed a module and had to repeat a sem.
so his NS enlistment is postponed
was trying to comfort him when my own results came out.
and i got F for 2 modules.
gross!!!

these will never happen..
i hope.
>_<"

slacking now. supervisor not ard. i've got things to do thou but im juz taking my own time. finally, it's own time own target.
tonight meeting tracy and candice for dinner and a short follow-up.

blog later.

//posted by ivy @ 10:02//

Thursday, May 20, 2004

i was in the HR room juz now re-arranging all the files and keying in master lists..
it was freezing cold and freaking quiet!
all i could hear was my breathing and the air-con's!
and i started humming.. not to any particular tune in mind.
and guess what? i found myself humming celine's song!
haha..
i cld only remb "Jesus, you are so wonderful..blah blah.. die for me".
then i remb her bridge was lyrics-less..
and so i starting singing some lyrics to that bridge tune. (at least i think i got the tune right.. if not, then it becomes a new song! haha)

it went something like "You came down to earth, with heart full of love, and all You think of is saving me.."
blah blah.. i can't remb now.
i cld fit at least 3 different version of lyrics inside the bridge juz now..haha.
well..and i was enjoying myself till i heard some footsteps.. someone came in.
$#^&*#$%^#$$

haha! nah..i din swear lah.
i juz kept -_-" lor.

//posted by ivy @ 16:30//

i am starving! =/......

everyone in the dept has gone off, left my boss, her close fren and me lor.
im done with my work for now..
she has not and she is half-doing, 1/3 grumbling and 1/3 complaining to me.
i juz nod my head..
asked me to go lunch with the two of them..but i might not.
dun feel like walking too far out in the sun and im quite tired.
shall go downstairs buy food up and slacked my one hour away.
yawnz.

yday's cell was okie.
worship was good but ah.. i was super hot!
haha.
guess everyone else were too!

sat's bbq..
i hope things turn out fine. a lil' worried cos i wun be ard till late.
really need to communicate more. otherwise no one knows what is going on.
but this is something good.
army guys are taking up the challenge to organise stuffs.. (okie, i sabo-ed them)
and i..having the chance to learn to be patient and understanding.
well well..

alright..
lunch time
tata

//posted by ivy @ 12:25//

Saturday, May 15, 2004

again, i feel pampered this morning.

yday wasn't really a fantastic day to start off.
had some squabble with my mum early in the morning before i went for work.
feeling quite sianz the whole morn.
den when i reached home last night, she was asleep oredi.

this morning i thought she would give me cold shoulder but well, my mum always loves me.
she was cooking kuey tiao soup for my breakfast.
she knows i dun like eat bread so early so this is the second time in the week she woke up to cook for me.
ate some, went for work.
and wheeee.. more food!

there were soyabean milk from katong, 'you tiao' from clementi, fried carrot cake from tiong bahru, ya kun's kaya toasts and some indian food!
power pack!
reached at 9am..but we all started work at ten cos were feasting away.
well well..
first over of pa officially over and i thank God for His blessings and strength every morning, every new day.
it's one of my prayers that attachment will not stop me from serving Him with joy and gladness..

pretty exciting few weeks ahead.
im gonna have to plan for this wed's cell,
tidy up some loose ends for sat's bbq,
source for cell materials (on hold),
follow-up with tracy,
planning for 'shi zhi lu kou'..

exciting ain't they?
well, i am excited!
woohoooo~~~

//posted by ivy @ 22:21//

Friday, May 14, 2004

the people in my office are real nice people..always try to make me feel at home and nv once, left me out. even when they are having their conversation during lunch, they will talk a while, and then turn to me and explain to me .. how interesting huh?

my supervisor not in today, having a course so i got no one to go lunch with cos she always bring me out. but.. some others in the dept came and asked me to go lunch with them but im not lah, the interns are all going out lunch together today! hehz.
and oh yah, sure grow fat ah. everyday there'll be different food in the dept - kuey, cake, fruits etc.. and they always ask me to eat and eat.. eat liao still ask me to eat..haha.
and one staff commented "now u know why all of us plump plump ah?"

something sweet happened in the dept juz now. one lady's (cecilia) hubby sent a bouquet of flowers and some stuffs juz now. and she almost burst into tears.
so we asked her wat's the occasion and she says no occasion. the card simply reads "juz for you cos i miss my dear wife now."
so sweet right? they've been married for a couple of yrs liao..

anyway, im waiting for them to call me..
for lunch.
most of my dept ppl gone off liao..
and everyone who goes past will go "not going for lunch? join us?"

i feel so pampered here!

//posted by ivy @ 12:17//

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

3 days of Professional Attachment (PA) has juz gone by..and im surviving very well!

IE singapore is really a good company to work in.. i like everything from the toilet to my laptop!

oh yeah, first day i had orientation for an hour or so. then ppl came to install phone and laptop for me and made my once empty table seemed so packed. i have my own pass as well so i can go out and come in anytime i want. did some reading up of materials so that i know basically what i am supposed to be doin these 8 weeks.

tues was a okie day. did some re-arranging of resignees' files..dusty! but i peeked in here and there..to see their resume and performance appraisal..haha. lunch was at V8, a treat from my supervisor. oh yeah, forgot to mention. my supervisor and i share the same cubicle so we're hmmm..within an arm's length from each other. haha!

today was more fun. typed out some documents but it's juz first draft. got to edit, get more info, approval and such. at the end of my PA, i would have contributed something to the company -- the entire recruitment and selection policy guidelines as well as other hr management procedures. gotta get everything approved and signed by supervisor and asst. director of hr.. woohoo~
met celine for lunch today and she's super late! i was the only one left in the office when all had gone out for lunch! =/

went shoppin by myself after that at seiyu bugis. went g2000. they having sales and i saw a pants i liked so..ta-ta. bought it of cos.. haha! went tuition after that.. a full whole 3-hr tuition with my sec 5 gal. i almost slept when she was asking this and asking that..

anyway, i guess im blessed for my PA. a good company and i think i should be able to learn quite a bit. must go sleep liao, otherwise tmr will be so tired...
zzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

//posted by ivy @ 23:53//

Saturday, May 08, 2004

[thurs]
din do much..slept till indecent hours, woke up and slacked around before i went for two tuitions consecutively.
boring day but yet, stress-less.

[fri]
woke up at 7 plus and saw that it was pouring..felt my heart sank.
i din want it to rain..i want my zoo trip.
so i woke up and prayed.. and went back to enjoy my sleep since it's raining!
haha.. how ironic.
overslept a little.. met mich to get camera and she passed me charger as well, which was a good thing after all.
met dear at cck and whheeee.. we started our way to the zoo!

reached the zoo at 10.50am..
bought tics, went in.. and we saw lotsa kids.
and our first stop was the monkeys.. they were making so much noise and they were stationed at the beginning of the route which visitors would take.
noisy noisy..
we followed the route given in the map..and i was happily snapping pics after pics with every station.
went for lunch at kfc..and then, to the nearby place for pigs, cows, sheeps and goats..
the pig was really cute..wahahaa!

den something sad happened..
camera low batt!
and we were only half-way thru our journey..
went for sea-lion show without taking any pics.
after that...we went ard looking for power sockets!
hahaa.. came to this pavilion where there are lots available.
so we boldly plugged in the charger to charge the batt!
woohoo.. have you seen anyone done that in zoo? hurhur.
charge charge charge.. about 40 mins later..the camera came to life and then.. we went snapping snapping again.
left the zoo at about 5pm..
spent a total of 6 hours there eh.
and i thank God for the cloudly weather, not too hot and not rainy.
simply perfect!

shopped around lot 1 and saw joanie..
then went to meet the youths for dinner at clementi.
what a big grp of us.. the aunty had to open an extra table in the middle of nowhere..
then to arlene's place for making mothers' day gifts.
and finally...home sweet home.
oh..not yet.
i went supper with becky, candice and althea on our way back..sat down at mac-cafe for an hour or so..
and i was super tired..

today is another sleepy day eh.
i've got something on later, can't go for meeting.
hope i can make it on time for tuition thou.

and im lazy to upload pics onto the server.. hmmm..
later bahz.

//posted by ivy @ 12:16//

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

today's paper was bad.
i was stuck at the very first qn! how demoralising can it get?
and it's 15 marks.
den as the paper progressed, i can literally see my marks making their way to my tutor's pockets.
and i was getting awfully cold. it was pouring like mad out there..
i kept looking out of the audi..cos i cld see part of the sky thru the clear glass at the ceiling.
i saw the rain, i saw some ppl filming us with the mega big camera that tcs probably uses..
i kept hearing the china profs making announcements and his voice broke all my thoughts into pieces.
and i din manage to catch some of them back.
questions were left half-done.
i caught myself staring at ppl, at the super smart guy seated adjacent to me.
staring at the clock, as though the time would stop for me to recall whatever i have tried to squeezed into my brain for the past few days.

i gave up at 11.30am
half an hour before time's up.
first time!
first time in ntu exams, i stopped writing at such times.

saddening.
some of my frens were really relieved and jumping for joy cos this is our last paper.
i ought to too.. but i dun feel good that the exams ended so badly.
nonetheless, the lunch at country manna did bring me some smiles.
went with my entre grp.
had a long lunch.. the food was okie.
but the place brought back some memories and kept me silence for most of the time.
i guess i will never forget the first time i was there.
sweet memories..

okie..then i went shopping with my frens..
came back in time for dinner with my parents.
and i made myself a couch potato till just now.
and now.. im bored so im blogging everything that happened today.

it was a rainy sun when i first went to country manna at suntec. din have prior plans to eat there of cos. was at cineleisure watching some bands performing den dear came along. he skipped some matches of england vs some one else. tried to catch glimpse of the match outside hmv where they had those tvs. and i was happily eating the ice-cream bought from the uncle selling outside hmv. den after a while, made our way to country manna. had a nice time there. he sent me back but we spent some time at the 'old citizens' corner' cos i wanted to let him have a taste of the brownies. he ate one or two. yakked a bit till it was rather late into the night. 3am? he stuttered and stuttered and till now, i dunno what he wanted to say. a good nite hug and off i was to bed. sleeping soundly and sweetly.

//posted by ivy @ 23:53//

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

my last paper tmr morning.
finally, it's ending.
i've somehow lost the motivation to study hard for this paper..thou i wanted an A initially.

anyway, will be going out with my entre grp for lunch at bugis tmr, to celebrate our $1000 thingy.
haha. speaking of which, my money hasn't arrived.
thurs is a day of tuition, both my sec 5 gal and zhong's bro.
fri! fri! i love fri! hehz.
i hope nothing crops up..so i can make my way to the ....ZOO!
yippiieee..
haven been there for a decade or more!

alright..
back to .. books.

//posted by ivy @ 16:25//

Saturday, May 01, 2004

today's music prac was.. so-so.
i made a huge load of mistakes. =|
but i thank God for wendy and her patience..and guidance.

nahz, i wasn't on the verge of crying.
wasn't stressed cos i knew that i could do it..
but i juz need to prac and i dun wan ppl staring at me every moment i made a mistake.
so i kept my eyes on arlene, on my scoresheets, on wendy and on my drums.
the whole prac.
of cos, i stole glances at the rest from time to time.
and until im more familiar..then i felt more satisfied.

it was really a feeling of joy.
i set up the entire drumset. no one helped me to bring anything out cos not much ppl today.
so i took out one by one and finished setting up in 40 mins time.
yeah, quite slow but finished just in time for sharing to begin.
spent some time sharing and praying for one another.

then music prac begun.
really felt good today thou zhong wasn't around and for some part, i was kinda stuck.
got si'er to help.
but.. all in all, the right mindset and thinking is impt.
i just told myself, the songs are within my capability and just to try out again and again.
yep yep! guess that really helped!
is that called "boosting ur confidence/esteem"?

whatever it is..
tmr is going to be fine. =)
i know it.

went for dinner with wendy and reginald.
ate at foodcourt, then dessert at mac-cafe.
den we went shop ard for a while..
and i came home less than an hour ago.

thank God for wendy - so encouraging.
for arlene - so patient.
for dear - always as encouraging and caring and of cos.. loving. =)

hmmm..how long have we been together?
15 months..
and i thank God for every moment..

//posted by ivy @ 23:03//

argh!
checked my attachment details last night.
no wonder they gave me $600.
i've got to go back on alternate sats!
cheated.

and my dad juz told me i wun be getting $600 cos of..
CPF..
sad case man.

anyway, im slacking now.
waiting for music prac later.
tired.
yawnz.

and im gonna need more clothes..
but im broke now.
how?
ahhhhhhhh...

//posted by ivy @ 12:31//