*the love and grace of God in my life..*

Friday, January 31, 2003

juz had my dinner..kinda full but the food wasn't exactly great but well..still have to eat..ha.

it has been raining ever since i woke up this morning..when i went for tutorials, for lunch, came back and caught a 4 hr nap, had my dinner..and now..
it's still raining! can't believe it.

not going to have a great new year i guess...
nope..it should be..

im sure im not going to have a great new year..sigh.
things are happening too sudden.

had a shock of my life when my dad told me the news juz now over dinner..
of course...i..

din react that nicely lahz. but u can't really blame me for my sarcasm..
bet u'll do the same if u're in my shoes.
sigh..

for once..im really at a loss.

but well....
life goes on..[vincent's lingo]..

He's still in control..

praying hard...

happy cny.~

//posted by ivy @ 19:23//

yes?
no?

i dunno.

hey wanling..im really encouraged by your sharings last night. i thank God for speakin to you yeah? yup..looking forward to talking to you more on sun. continue loving Him yea?
*hugs*...hehe..

qiufeng..
hey gal...haven seen you online for a few days? know u're not exactly coping well with your frens and stuffs lidat ... im here if u need someone to talk to. in the meanwhile, u take care. and have a great cny.

can't believe it..i got lessons at 830 tmr and im still online. haha.

ta-ta

//posted by ivy @ 01:19//

Thursday, January 30, 2003

i need to talk to you..
....
can we?

//posted by ivy @ 23:39//

takin a break from fm and accts. stupid subjects manz. can't seem to get it for nuts. argh~

juz done my accts prep sheet. now completely blank for my fm lor..shiyun oso not in hall now. cannot discuss. diez liao..dunno tmr's presentation how oso...

was super late for my accts lect today..haha. supposed to be there at 830, but i woke up there and then lor. hehh. went for the second half of the lect thou and went for stats. hmm..i love the feelin of completing my stats tut. shiok manz..for once, i dun feel so blur during the tutorial itself. haha.

after that met shuhei for lunch at cant 3. okie lah..had a time of catching up..hehez.
im so glad for the frenship now..well, u understand it yah?

tok to charlie juz now..made me think of some stuffs..haha. hey..im so glad for you ya? hehz.. thanks.

days and months have passed
words and thoughts have crossed
tears been shed and dried
hope of a love has died.

am i right?

i dunno.

.....i'll
always be here
for you..
yes..

you.

//posted by ivy @ 22:55//

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

juz got a message from wayne..
offertry song is "you're beautiful beyond description"

time for me to whack my pillows..haha

//posted by ivy @ 23:52//

finally a long day is over..hehz.
have always considered tues to be a long and draggy day. first part of the day not that bad..once it gets to fm lect, ...it's
torture!!

i think the lect'r gave up on us.. cos there's still half an hour or 45 mins or so..and he still has 5-6 pages but he juz mumbled some stuffs and den ppl in front started packing. haha..
that means end of lect lahz..
and i think cos so many ppl were oredi taking their bags and walking out of the theatre..haha. and the rest simply are not paying much attention.

well..
good oso lahz..keep me there for another half an hour will amount to nothing as well..haha.

my brain has a permanent blockage of fm stuffs..haha.~~

hmm..so im playing this sun after all. had a switch of the team for this 2 weeks. dunno why.
wayne is leading..
but there wun be any prac cos of cny..
oh oh..jialatz..haha.

shall aim to finish to do the following b4 i go for the international student exchange programme tok tmr..

1. my notes for stats lect 3
2. ob chpt 6
3. social work tutorial.

okie..that shall be all. quite ambitious liao lehz..~~ hehz.

going to watch some guitar vcd tmr..wonder how izzit like..?
after that..having cell..

im sleepy..shall i
sleep??

no
yes
?
?

i dunno.

//posted by ivy @ 23:14//

Monday, January 27, 2003

the will of God will never lead you to where the grace of God cannot keep you..

amen?

//posted by ivy @ 22:31//

patience is part of the fruit..
and so is..
love
joy
peace..
etc etc....

it's time i learn..
it's time u learn..yea?

juz printed my stats notes for tmr morn lect..well, hope i wake up on time to get there on time of cuz. haven been going for 2 lects liao. sigh..hehe.

challenges..?

fears..?

i dunno..
but i know..

He's there!

He will bring me thru. He will guide me.. He will lead me..
He will show me.

He will..

//posted by ivy @ 22:25//

stupid gong gong..my soundcard got prob..argh!!
now i hate simlim..eeks!! yucks!!

okie..enuff of complaints..
i going to have my dinner den to tuition liao...

yawns.

//posted by ivy @ 17:40//

Sunday, January 26, 2003

the ntu symphonic band was not bad yday nite.. though i sort of preferred the part b4 the interval..and of cuz, b4 the alumni..hehez. the alumni one a bit boring lahz.. yup..
after that, went for supper at lao pa sat..ate satay and carrot cake but i din eat a lot lahz..throat still hurts a little and im still coughing..

stayed till like 11+ den took cabby home. quite surprisingly, i was still wide awake when i reached home. haha. my dad's frens were over, watching soccer match and playing cards. can't believe it, arsenal scored 5..!! haha.. but zhongfa says cos they are playing against a team which is super duper lousy kind. well..dunno much abt it.

stupid computer, always giving me problems. something is rather wrong with the soundcard and the usb ports. i installed the drivers for the soundcard liao..and thou i turned the volume to the max, the sound that comes out is pathetically soft manz. and the stupid usb always cannot detect my 'stingray' modem.. now i regret taking this modem..shld have stayed with the norm and take the blackie box one..argh!!!

wasn't in church today..not because im sick of cuz. i am well liao..'i tink'..hehe.
had to do 'da sao chu' for new year. actually dun need to tidy up much lahz...basically juz my stuffs are all over the place.that's all. haha.

quite some stuffs have been happening lately..people are getting sick (duhz), getting angry, getting upset, getting stressed...
im not saying that we can't feel this way. of cuz..we are humans after all..there are also times which i feel lidat too..sad and down, stressed and tired..but i do know that thru all these, He's still in control.

He was
He is
and He will always be in control.

it took me a lot, a long time..
to realise this truth.
it's something that we all know..but to apply it in our lives take conviction, faith..

faith...

i used to wonder what it means for Him to be in control..?
does it mean i dun have to care?
does it mean i can ignore and pretend that nothing of that sort has happened?
or does it mean that God will miraculously take away everything?

well..sad to say..
it's none of the above..

allowing Him to be in control means to surrender things to Him and trust that in His goodness, grace and mercy, in His own time, He will make things beautiful...beautiful..

this was what hit me a lot when i read zhongfa's blog..yup... din wanna blog it down initially..but i guess i should.

//posted by ivy @ 12:59//

Saturday, January 25, 2003

my body aching..big time. haha..
actually more of my arms lahz.. think i over-played..haha.

but well..i had great fun..played thou i wasn't feelin well. best huh?
then after that, went for my electives and i was fallin asleep during the lect. absorbed a little lahz..but kinda too tired and sleepy to pay attention.

met reginald, gilbert and arlene for dinner at west mall after that.. unusual grp of ppl for meeting up for dinner but well, can't always stay with the same ppl over and over again. gotta learn how to tok to other ppl. dinner was quite okie after all..

i was quite shocked to see the attendance for prayer meeting yday. cos it's like usually, not many youths attend the monthly prayer meeting. yup, nice to see all the leaders present and oso some new faces like peixuan, huimin and wanling. hey..hope u three din feel very uncomfy yday. yup.maybe it's the first time lahz..it takes time lahz. the very first time i went for prayer meeting, i was rather quiet as well, din really feel comfortable about praying out aloud..haha.

went for a drink after the meeting..most of the youths went. yup, had a time of yakking before we went back.

oh..and guess what?
i din know avril lavigne was only 1.56m..hehz. she definitely dun look that height. but well, powerful voice huh? yeah...hehe.

today's leaders' training cancelled so i slept till 1pm. hehe..straight 12 hours of sleep manz. not bad huh? at this rate i sleeping, i prob turn into a fat pig at the end of this semester. opsiee..
going to pack up my notes and tutorials..for the first time, they are really messy. din bother filing them yet, so i juz piled them up according to modules. and there are 5 piles now..sitting at the corner of my table..waiting to be filed and i think it's time i do so. haha.
lagging behind for my readings as well..sigh. and not to mention tutorials too. i haven done any stats tutorials on my own so far. can't believe it rite? and esp stats is something im kinda scared of. but well, who is not?
dabao rate for stats is known to be the highest..but eh, a bit skeptical abt that comment lahz. last sem, seniors and ppl were saying that business law dabao rate highest oso but so far, i haven met anyone who have to retake that module yet..and judging by the fact that even this goondu here can get a 'b' for biz law, biz law isn't that hard after all. so perhaps stats isn't that jialat after all. haha.. we shall see..

im going to pack my notes den bathe and go for the ntu band concert..well, it better be nice..haha.

yawn..sleepy ivy still...sigh sigh..yawn yawn..

//posted by ivy @ 14:36//

Thursday, January 23, 2003

tmr is fri again...yeepee!! i love fri..cos it means weekend is coming..woohoo~~

but that's bad too..cos i haven done both my tutorials for tmr's lessons. oopsiee~. it's accts and fm. argh!! i dun really hate them lahz..juz that accts is getting a bit more chim..and fm is rather sianz. doin present value and future value tmr..and though it's a short tutorial, the toopid chandra guy is bound to drag till 2 hours. no doubts abt that manz. and it's so sicko..!!
cos other classes are having a maximum of only 1 hour of fm tutorial..in fact, today's fm's ppl only has tutorial for 45 mins. can't believe it..
dunno how that guy can drag on for so so so long..it's really nothing much to be said manz. fm is simply applying formulae..and the formulae are all stated in the text..staring at you.
and that dodo has to take such a long time to complete his tutorial session!! goondoo~~~

tutorial ppl playing badminton tmr..coolz eh? hehez..
think we hog the courts in src..haha.
looking forward of cuz...but...

but.....

.....
im kinda quite ill.
haha..

thot i was getting better till yday. think yday, it really got worse. i din have flu and cough till like after cell yday. ate one panadol last nite and that must be the thing i regret doin.
that bodoh panadol extra strong caused me to stare at my ceiling the whole nite!!! it contained caffeine and i cldn't sleep at all leh. the last time i looked at my hp was like 6 plus and the next moment i know, my alarm rang at 7 plus.. what good nite rest i had huh?

im tired..came home after lunch den slept till dinner time. sigh..i feel so bad.
haven been doin my tutorial and reading up much. stats is something im quite scared of and i missed 2 lects so far liao...haven done any tutorials for stats oso. but lucky today's tut was quite okie..so i cld answer thou i din do the tut..haha.

went for lunch with yanyang, huijun and her two frens..ate jap food at hall 11. nice sia..better than cant a's..cheaper oso.

think i shall pop another pill and a flu med den go dream land again... im realli tired liao..
muz get well enough..wanna play badminton tmr still..haha.

got prayer meeting tmr at sonshine..730. shld be meeting gilbert and arlene for dinner. not sure yet..but shld be lahz.

yawnz..

//posted by ivy @ 23:10//

Monday, January 20, 2003

hey arlene..i got the same as you..again. haha...
but i do agree to the description..hehz!

it's a sleepy day cos it's raining day..hmm? do i make sense? hehz..i a bit blur now..watever i say today dun seem to make sense. was toking some stuffs during ob discussion juz now den i realised im not making any cow sense..haha~~ as usual..crappy mode when it comes to discussion.

bumped into eugene at the interchange juz now. he gave me a shock.haha. but well, he's leaving for uni in aust tmr. fast huh? for 4 years.. saw debbie juz now oso. she going his house for dinner..'last dinner' as eugene puts it. haha. sounds so pathetic. but well, quite poor thing leh..long dist r/s..sighz.

im not exactly feeling very good now..think the headache is coming back. but then..i dun feel like eating any more panadols..yucks!! always hated pills..big time. eeks!!!!!

eeeky yuckky pukey!!!!!!!!
doesn't that sound familiar? hmm??

okie..going to type my ob memo now..den can do my tutorials liao..hardworking eh? like real....

//posted by ivy @ 18:08//

Sunday, January 19, 2003

im sick..

sob sob~~

i feel so terrible manz. wah liao..having to sleep again and again. actually im not sleepy but the headache is killing me. can't do anything except..sleep. juz ate another panadol and this time, is extra strong! haha..hope it works better and faster..if that is what "extra strong" is supposed to mean..ha.

din go for church today and youth too. sigh...i miss u people..and oh yeah, sorry lil', cldn't be there but i know you played well rite? yep...

yawn...-->i really yawned. haha.

whoa..wait..my phone ringing..brb

.......
thx for all your concerns..qiufeng, peixuan, kailun, shuhei, huiwen, wilson, eric chong, sabrina...blah blah.
im sorry if i sounded a little hostile..i really wanted to go back to zzz-land. and the pain is killing me..arh!!

waiting for lunch to be done so that i can eat and then to the doc later..yawn. sigh.

u people out there better take care~~

i think i looked deathly pale now..haha. even kailun thinks so. haha..and believe it a not, my parents dunno that im sick..haha. i always managed to hide it from them cos they always end up scolding me when i get myelf sick and that's probably the last thing i want..

tata..

//posted by ivy @ 13:56//

Saturday, January 18, 2003

times are ever changing
feelings come and go
the things that i need
you'll never be able to meet

and here i say to you
watever is in due
i am tired of this and all
coldness never thaw

let go of me
living life anew
closer to Him
singing a hymn

this dun make sense to most of you. but i guess some of you will understand and know what im trying to say. well, life goes on. and on.. and..on.

//posted by ivy @ 22:46//

home sweet home...after eh...some stuffs. haha...*secret*

hush hush...*grinz*

ate a lot for dinner juz now. hehez..the food was quite nice..i ate 8 fishballs!! haha..dunno leh, found it very nice..yum yum. so i took one after another, after another, after another.. nv touch the chicken and otak at all..hmm? dun wan to get my hands dirty mahz. hehz.

din go down container today for music prac..haha..wanted to go actually but well, i super overslept this morning so missed my stats lect and since it's so late oredi, so i decided to sleep more and yah..sleep on.
haha..terrible huh? well..wat's new? i always oversleep..oppsiee~~
so lilian, are u stressed? haha..i bet u are or maybe u are not cos got zhongfa mahz..haha. no fear rite? hehe..

yup, was talkin to wayne juz now abt the guitar so i think most likely i'll get his..haha..but hmm..a bit ...hmm..ex. but then again, i think still reasonable, considering how much he got it for.
going to read finish my accts and start on my stats..tired. sianz. haha.

you know what? i've got lots of things on my mind now but i guess this is the decision im making..been thinking about it for quite some time. i can't make peace with myself when this is dragging on and on. im tired. decision this time is final...final......
.....

.....

a break is what i need.

//posted by ivy @ 22:23//

trying to settle my comp stuffs b4 i go to lala-landy. haha. usually wun sleep so early but got lect tmr morn at 830!! argh..can't believe it. but nvm, the lect has been officially shifted to tues morn so i dun have to go for lect early on sat morn anymore..

second week of school..not that bad. lects have been quite okie, except for fm, which i was catching nothing. haha. tutorials were okie as well. i like my ob and accts tutor..nice guys. for fm, still not that bad, he dun belong to those strict type, juz that i can't realli make out his words. and for stats, it's BAD!! haha..that toopid guy went so fast, thinking that we are all experts in spss or something. wah liao...

only thing that both the tutor and lect'r is good is social work!! yep...i love social work. haha..din regret taking this module.

long day today..had 3 tutorials. yawn yawn...
and guess what???

???

???

???

when i was going to go off for tuition, i took 179 and that boo-boo bus went crashing into this car along the stretch of LT1A. for some reason, i was a bit lazy to go upper deck this time so sat lower deck. and for some strange reason, i was juz thinking to myself what a reckless driver he was. cos he refused to stop at cant 2 stop though there were ppl wanting to board the bus. in fact, he din realli wanna stop at my stop too. boo-boo driver~~

and off it went..travelling at i dunno what speed..and then boom..the next thing i knew i saw this car without the front part of it and the bus i was in swerved from outer to inner lane. and there were a lot of those particles flying ard after the crash. well..u can imagine..the front of the car vanished juz in 2 seconds. and all these were juz happening beside me..haha!!!!

exciting journey huh??

booboo....

going to sleep liao..after staring for so long at this comp, trying to install new stuffs and print my stats lect notes for tmr.

enjoy the weekends yeah?

//posted by ivy @ 00:33//

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

slacking big time now..hahah...

slacker slacker slacker...*chants*

had my first tutorial session for the sem. it's ob tut. haha..not bad lah..got like 8 of us in the same class and yeah, norman is inside too!! haha..wat a coincidence! haha..a shock for both of us to see each other inside anyway. yup, joined chengkiat, shiyun, tecktien and cheewei for ob discussion. haha..happening class. cos both groups are made up of our own people so a bit noisy..ha~~

fm lect was rubbish manz. it ended in an hour's time and germs and i din even know that the bobby guy was oredi at his second last slide. terrible huh? hehz...we were yakking lahz..with norman of cuz.

and what rubbish??
i got to sell 3 boxes of pineapple tarts cos im in vas sub-com. argh!! so expensive somemore. managed to get clement and jason to get them..hehez.. shall phycho danwen next..heh..or mayb my bro and shiyun..they can jolly well share..haha!!

argh!! i feel so slack!!~~~~

dieezzz...haven prepare my sharing for tmr's cell yet..ooppsiee~~ doing it soon of cuz. soon.. yea

meeting shuhei tmr to go ntu..haha..that guy dunno his way to cant a lahz. after that, going to sim lim den to cell. long day. sigh..dun need to do my tutorials and readings liao.

i realised so many things have been coming up. after i put all the events down in calender, it's like so fully packed. sighz.. reali a lot manz.
let's see.. sharing for tertiary cell and youth, preparation for 'joshua', playing drums and guitar, crusade stuffs, vas sub-com, tuition, and that excludes my readings and tutorials..sheez. my planner so packed now..argh~~~

whoa..latest news..aaron and shiyun are both buying a box each..the tarts i mean..
hehe..so nice. im so touched..haha

//posted by ivy @ 22:10//

Sunday, January 12, 2003

i walked the desert, feeling lonely, feeling dry...

yeah...that's how a lot of us are feeling now. me and my frens.. and yet...

and then i praise
and i praise
praising you from this very place
you're the God who sent the sun and rain
you're the God who sees my deepest pain...

doin that is in fact the more difficult thing to do. can you? i can't answer it for myself..as yet. but well, i know i can..soon

//posted by ivy @ 00:52//

Saturday, January 11, 2003

argh!!!!! im damn stressed......!!!!!!!

from drums of cuz!! like what else except exams can make me stressed rite..haha.. and now is definitely not exams period!!

supposedly to be playing the last two songs tmr so went down for music prac at sac today. wasn't that bad..maybe cos pastor not around lahz.haha.. the offering song still can barely make it lahz..but..but..but..

the closing song gone liao. haha.. i can't really play fast songs so hmm..yah..yea..hahahaha....did mess it up a whole lot. played thru like twice but still..i dun get it..oopsisiieeee!!

juz praying and hoping that things go well tmr. as in i dun mess the songs up..hehe.

oh yeah..arlene..sorry ah. make u sing over and over again..hehe. and yeah, tina, marcus and all who were so patient juz now..haha. thanks. so tina, are u going to be my metronome tmr? ahhahahhaha.....

going to practise a bit of my drums b4 going to sleep. argh!! still got the scared scared feeling now.
gotta go choose my clothes for tmr oso. cannot wear skirt so hmm..pants again. but i haven iron yet...~~ help..

my comp is back to life but it's kinda scary cos sometimes it's threatening to hang and cough up blood. stupid thing. now i dunno whether i should buy a new boxxy or should i juz tear this box apart and upgrade it??~~ mafan..

all that i am, all that i have
i lay them down before you O Lord....

have a wonderful sun yeah!!??

//posted by ivy @ 23:32//

been a long long time since my last entry..well, cos my comp died on me!! haha...

and i was quite irritated today..switched on my comp and started hitting ctrl+alt+del..and whoa!! bomm..the thing came on. haha..like some magical password. now im starting to wonder how many times muz i enter that combo b4 this stupid thing works. argh!! life has been terrible, miserable without my dearie comp..haha. din get to chat online, read any blogs or blog myself..print my notes and check my mails..argh!! pathetic way of starting a new sem huh?

whoa..im like typing duper fast cos i wan to zzzZZZZZzzzzz!! so tired..juz finished churning out a huge pile of notes. and no time to read my mails and check out blogs yet oso. decided to juz blog a little b4 my blog goes mouldy..haha..lame~

how's everyone? hope u guys and gals are fine, alive, well and kicking..

im not exactly that. things have been happening in school..making me drained. sigh. quite sianz at times. quite okie at times. happy at times. sad at times.

i hope i dun get into those state of down-ness manz. super sianz now. quite unhappy now oso. but of course the only thing that is making me smile is the drums on sun. finally, i get to play..for Him. yea.. hope things go well too. kinda worried.

wun you juz be more sensitive?.......

im going to have a long and tiring weekend. u take care and i'll see u guys from wac tmr and sun.

keep smiling..

//posted by ivy @ 00:51//

Wednesday, January 01, 2003

10....9....8....7...6...5...4...3..2..1........

HapPy nEw YeAr~~!!!

so did u all went for countdown yday??

went for dinner with the tertiary cell at 'margarita' yday. waited so long for our food..haha. in the end, we were so hungry, we kept eating the nachos. had red wine and some fruit juice with honey b4 that. dinner was not bad, like the place quite a bit. nice place but a little small though. i had red snapper for my main course. yum yum..

went out of the place to celebrate lilian's and bowan's birthday. bought a mango cake from prima deli b4 that oredi. and guess that? we got no lighter..haha.. so had to borrow.

after that, we walked all the way from there to west coast park. whoa..far leh..hha. and i was so surprised to see so many people there. all playing with fireworks...and the whole place becomes so smokey..so yvonne and wilson went to buy some as well!! hah..we had our own countdown..quite a lot of people were there..stanley, gilbert, si'er, becky, marie and angel came to join us after the dinner. after that, it was more of a time of fellowship..yakking..drinking..(hahah)..

some of us left at around 2 plus while the others stayed behind..shared a cab back with matt and becky. yawn yawn...

and yeah..brand new year this year..what's your new year resolution? think about it lahz..haha. mine? is to be a goodie gal..hahahaha.

new year resolution..:-
** to do well in my studies.
** to serve with love and joy in wac leadership.
** to be someone He can use.

....yawn..im still so sleepy, despite having a 9 hours sleep. haha. going to spend today packing up my room and making it look a little more presentable. tmr is an exciting day ahead..whoa~~
going to meet si'er for drums tmr morn..and of course i hope more people can come down, rather than juz me and him..haha. i dun mean anything bad lahz..juz that when there are more people, more instruments mahz. haha. after that, meeting elwyn for a movie and shopping!! haha..yeah..shopping..

i need a new comp...[chant chant chant]

//posted by ivy @ 14:18//