Thursday, October 31, 2002
hehe..paw prints!! cutie..
//posted by ivy @ 17:17//
ahh!!!! im going
crazy!!
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
so when you dun understand
when you dun see His plan
when you can't trace His HandsTrust His Heart..sometimes, even trusting His heart becomes such a tough task..it comes to a point when i dun seem to fear and trust Him anymore..im juz indifferent. very numb..
trust his heart........
//posted by ivy @ 16:43//
im bored..
hehe....
//posted by ivy @ 13:29//
morningz people..
whoa..i slept so much manz..hehe.
yday came home slept from 3-6pm and then yday nite from 12.30am to this morning 10am..haha...
sleepy head yawn...
sianz..talking to joyce now..she's so scared of failing econs..well, everyone seems to feel that. not me lahz, i dun think i'll fail but i wun pass with a good grade either. this is
bad..wun blog much today. dun feel like. brainy filled with exams..and exams..argh~~ i feel like eating sushi now..hehe..
had a weirdo dream yday nite. reali weird..
involves lilian, shuhei, candice, huibin, eric chong, yvonne and i can't remb who else. wasn't a very pleasant dream. as in, in the dream, i was angry with shuhei for certain stuffs and then lilian was trying to help i think. then i got quite irritated so i went out and saw candice and huibin and dunno wad i did oso lahz..hehe..
okie, going to eat my museli bar den try to study liao. no choice. reali have to piah like siao these 6 days. my 'A' and 'B' will depend on these 6 days liao..ahaha.. predicting that i'll get A or B if i reali study super duper hard these 6 days but if i dun, then mayb B or C lorz..haah
study study study....
//posted by ivy @ 10:34//
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
hehe..the quiz so fakie. well, apparently and obviously i dun answer my phone with "moshi moshi"..
only
wayne does that..haha.
and i have no slightest idea wad's a kanji? hehe...
You Are a Henna Gaijin!
You're not Japanese, but you wish you were!
You can use chopsticks with your eyes closed, and you've memorized hundreds of Kanji.
You even answer your phone "moshi moshi."
While the number of anime videos you've seen is way higher than the number of dates you've been on, there's hope.
Play the sexy, mysterous gaijin, and you'll have plenty of Japanese meat.
boo hoo..sobby~~
im getting sick manz..sheez!!
been sneezing since i woke up just now..
NNOOOnnnooooo!!!!!!!!!! i can't fall sick..no way!!
was yakkin in icq juz now with shiyun and damien. haha. we planning wad to do after exams oredi..ma chiam now holidays liao.haha. but at least, got something to look forward to after the dreadful one-shot 3 modules exams..hehe.
let's see..i must go for dim sum after the paper; k-box too. and yep, my shopping spree..haha.~~
yummy yummy....hehe..
okie..im getting nonsensical here..oppsie~ brainy a bit not working right now. i shall plan wad to do tonight..but i think it most likely wun work cos i'll be like thinking of watching my show at 1030
again..haha.
and u know wad? the only day i missed that day was on monday, when i went over to arlene's hall to study..ha~ that shows wad a couchie potato im huh? hee.
i shall attempt to complete
terms of contract b4 i go lala-land..well, since i used the word 'attempt', it most likely will juz turn out to be a flop plan..hehz.
go to sleep now...
close your eyes...
la la la la la la la...hehe..im obviously going hay-wirely..
//posted by ivy @ 21:04//
back home...
from the terrible, horrible and dreadful econs paper.
passable but not scorable..and that's so sad.
i spent quite a lot of time on econs but somehow, the qns today quite idiot..
there is this qn which is a total give-away, 9 marks somemore but of course, i gave away much more than that!!
yup, think i'll get a C..hopefully cos i dun wan D..for once, i feel so helpless in econs. so different from jc stuffs. and wad the heck..i actually had an A for econs for 'A's..haha.~~
pathetic me..my entire class was in hall D, except for
me, beng chuan, clara and junli. initially, i thought i was the only one cos we were at hall D court yakking away b4 paper starts and
all of them were in hall D...only me..sobby~~then i went downstairs, saw norman, germaine and bernard and they were in hall D too!! and i was like..'huh? only me in hall E? so pathetic..' hah.
den beng chuan came and he said he oso hall E..haah. went hall E, realised that junli is there too..hehe. jason ow oso.
and thanks ah norman!!~~ rumour-spreader.. if the whole wide world starts to ask me the same question jun'an asked me yday, im gonna skin u alive~
the paper was
terrible,
horrible,
killer...disgustingly idiotic.!!
i spent like 15 mins trying to figure out what combi of qns i should attempt can?? argh!! den the guy beside me was oredi furiously scribbling away the moment he flips open the qn paper. wonder whether he did everything?!! haha~
okie..end of grumble and complaint.haha..i shall
sLaCk for the rest of today...hehehe~~before i start deciding on how i should go about memorising my IT which is on next wed..argh!! another agonising wait for my
second paper to start..
idiot rite..? the way they split our papers..wait so long to start on the first one and muz wait so long for the second one to come and then when the second paper comes, it's a one shot 3 modules thing..wah liao...ntu's exams-setter got
no brainy...hehehe
//posted by ivy @ 14:24//
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Lord my heart cries out
Glory to the King
My greatest love in life
I hand You everything
Glory Glory I hear the angel sing
Open my ears let me hear Your voice
To know that sweet sound O my soul rejoice
Glory Glory I hear the angels sing
You're the father to the fatherless
The answer to my dreams
I see you crowned in righteousness
We cry Glory to the King
Comforter to the lonely the lifter of my head
I see you veiled in majesty we cry
Glory Glory we cry Glory to the King--->>>took this from arlene's blog. ministering..
//posted by ivy @ 16:06//
took this from mel's blog..
You Are A Romantic Kisser!
You'll only kiss if the mood is right and if you think you are falling in love.
Some may say you're old fashioned, but when you kiss, you see stars!
One kiss from you, and anyone will be hooked forever.
hiyee people, din blog yday..
miss me?..
haha~~
went over to arlene's hall early in the morning yday to study. think yday was a rather eventful day. haah. finished around 2.5 chapters of biz law.
passed to gor my notes and cos i wanted to pay my bills so we went to s4, but...[haha]. one of the photocopying shop was closed and the other was having lunch; the SAM machine had a card stuck inside so can't use. so we wasted the trip there but not that bad cos it wasn't on foot. yup..
went for dinner but din eat much. i barely finished half of my noodles, juz din feel like eating. den went N2 rooftop for sunset prayer. it was led by dorothea.talked about genesis 22..abraham sacrificing issac. had a short prayer with adeline and arlene. prayed mainly for exams.
went back to hall, stayed till 10 den i left. supposedly to get back my notes from beng chuan but he was outside ntu..so i went home first. but not a bad choice after all, cos he came to my house to pass me my notes at around 12+ and
supper oso. haha. better still, i get free food in the middle of the night. haha. cos he was da-baoing for hall people so "shun bian" da-bao for me too. [ooppssiiee..forbidden word!!]..haha. and so i had nasi lemak while attempting to do my econs past yr paper. haha.
hey hey, so scary. cos tmr is my first paper liao. seems as though i've waited so long for my first paper. im like the last one to start manz..everyone else has at least one paper by now. and my second paper is like....argh..next wed. another long wait but that's not that bad cos i got to piah 3 modules in a week. oops!~ hehe.
now quite scared. was toking to beng chuan last nite. he said he da-bao EP liao. and mayb econs too cos he nv study much. aiyo, everyone toking about da-baoing b4 taking paper. scare me..
today's plan....
1. do 2 sets of econs paper till like 6pm.
2. read through the more important portion of my econs text
again.
3. if got time, read chpt 3 of biz law--contract.
4. sleep at 12 am.
tmr's paper is at 930 am. someone better gives me morning call manz. i doubt i can wake up after sleeping at queer hours for the last 2 weeks. haah~
okie, i shall go study and have my lunch too. all the best for those who are taking econs tmr~~ im sure we all can make it yeah?
//posted by ivy @ 12:18//
Sunday, October 27, 2002
been blogging quite a lot lately..maybe cos im too lazy to call people to tok so im juz putting everything in my head here. and i guess sometimes, it's easier to blog than to talk cos certain things, i wanna share it with all and certain things, i wanna let it out but not to that person. so i guess blogging is a good thing after all.
haven seen
audrey around for quite some time oredi. she hasn't been coming for svc or youth but if im not wrong, she's quite involved in coos now. dunno if it's a good thing but i guess He has His plans for this precious gal.
was talking to kailun on friday about youth fusion. well, i kinda agree with what she said but den again, it does take more than a few of us to make a difference. and sometimes, the difference dun seem to make things any more different. oh well, if you can understand my poor command of english.haa.
i feel quite okie these 2 days. thoughts came but got chased away by my brain. feeling of unfairness dropped by and lingered around. but anyway, i still survived these 2 days. hah. izzit a good thing? well...
for those who still remember the story of the sad fact..well, the ending is here. ...she decides to give him up. they are still talking as friends, still talking through sms, not phone. she knows that he's showing her less attention now, it's rather noticeable. he still smses her and she does so too but somehow, she says they are not possible and so she wants to give him up before she sinks in deeper.
~the end~
okie..i guess i dun have much to blog for now. head is filled with contents of biz law which i juz read juz now before i had my dinner. im not realli looking forward to the holidays though. painful. but somehow, if the holidays dun come, that means im still struggling with my exams. therefore, the holidays have/must come. though they are going to be a
painful period of time.
.....unless you prove me wrong.....
//posted by ivy @ 19:55//
hehe..arlene..i got the same as you. hehe. but me great with kids?? hmm..second thoughts..
Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!
//posted by ivy @ 17:29//
juz came back from youth..feeling a bit sleepy oredi thou i slept so much last nite. but i guess im juz too tired so even thou i slept for 10 hours, still not enough..haha~
hillsong's "You are my world" blasting through my speakers now..today's church was okie..si'er played the drums. hehe..he played quite well leh, considering that songs were quite chim..haha~.
i miss the drums!!..soon~~ i'll go down container when im done with my papers..very long nv touch liao. i think i quite
lost it oredi.
anyway, going to do my econs past year paper and maybe sleep. hah. can't stand it.. sleepy head.
who wants to teach me drums?
//posted by ivy @ 17:23//
Saturday, October 26, 2002
wayne called eric juz now..yup
he's fine over there..according to eric..yep..
okie..juz hang up the fone..haha.thanks yanyang.
i think u've been so patient..haha. with me bugging you after every chapter of biz law i read. hehe. thanks~~
going to lala-land earlier tonight..muz get my body clock correct. otherwise, all my papers gone liao. cos all
morning papers..and i've been sleepin at 3 am and waking up at 11 am..haha~
nitez everyone!
yep..and to the wac-ers..i'll see you all tmr~
//posted by ivy @ 21:48//
to those at home.. i pray that u will too, be sensitive to people around u... love and cherish those whom u know.. regardless of their background, their AGENDA
forget these things.. and start to see everyone as equal in God's eyes..
whether u are Christian or not, i urge u to put your hope in God.. to me... He is/has been/ will always be the ONE and ONLY God and provider and King in my life...----taken from wayne's blog.
read this in his blog after sending him off yday. and i realised how hard it is to do the above. and yes wayne, this msg did encourage me in a way when i think about some people and some stuffs.
it's so true. sometimes, we find it so hard to love some people, especially after we probe into their agenda. sometimes, it's too late to love someone..that person has left.
well, u may not understand what im toking about but know that love and treat people the way you want to be loved and treated.
okie..i feel quite good, in a way. cos i finished my IT and econs readings liao. nothing great but if u've noticed my studying attitude for the past 2 weeks, i supposed i've done quite a lot. haven touched my mktg
yet..will do it soon. no matter how much i dread touching and reading that book, i've got to. somehow.
yuppie..hehehe
//posted by ivy @ 15:42//
Friday, October 25, 2002
hehe..so cute. now i feel like eating m&m. *yum yum*
//posted by ivy @ 17:11//
back from the airport...
met arlene early in the morning for breakfast, den met qiufeng and peixuan to go airport together. was there quite early but anne and edwin were even earlier..haha. quite a lot of people came, some of them i dunno lahz..some younger ones..haha. "wayne's fanclub?"..hehe.
took some pictures..for fun..haha. actually was quite a happy occasion, i mean wayne is leaving for the sake of his career next time mahz..but hmm, suddenly felt sad for a moment when he crossed the gate. hehe..yeah, i
teared a little..hehehe. a feeling of ...."bu she de"? maybe..
but well, hopefully, i'll see him during youth camp..yuppie!
went for lunch at bk with the rest--arlene, joanie, peixuan, qiufeng, edwin, zhongfa, si'er, eric and kailun. pastor was around too.. yup, me and eric tok to him a little about our school stuffs..modules. den we went to send anne off..haha.
collected some answers for econs from chee wei den came home liao. now quite tired but well, i gotta try to finish my econs by today..otherwise, im really
"dead"...
"you are forever in my life...
you see me through the seasons..."
//posted by ivy @ 17:04//
familiar song on perfect 10 now..
as we go on, we remember
all the times we had together
and as our lives change, cum wateva
we'll still be frens forever...--graduation, frens 4eva.
remb that song used to be hot favourites during sec sch times and jc times too. haha..
hmm..now i wondering who to trust. was toking to germs last nite about changing classmates next sem again but she told me someting diff. apparently, bernard's gf says that for the first and second sem, it's the same people. well..i dunno. but lena and victor tell me otherwise..well..we'll juz have to see.
so fast..wayne leaving in about 12 hours time..hmm. wonder how will church and youth be when he's not around. last year when jinhang left, church seems a little quieter..now that wayne is leaving for 3 months, i wonder whether it'll be the same too. become quieter? hah..well, gotta admit that that guy is a little crazy at times but had a grt time with him around.
hey wayne..you take care of yourself when u're over at taiwan k? though it's juz for 3 months but i sure gonna miss ya! yup..you'll be in my prayers..keep growing closer to God daily. take care...okie..going to sleep slightly earlier tonite cos gotta wake up early to go airport tmr..yup..nitez all.
tiny stars, shining bright
it's time to say good nite.
close your eyes, sleep tight tight
may you dream sweetly tonight..
//posted by ivy @ 00:25//
Thursday, October 24, 2002
got this from arlene's blog..hmm..i got the same bear as you..hehe.
See what Care Bear you are.
//posted by ivy @ 15:25//
haha..i haven been online since ..let's see..3 pm yday. hah.
went over to germaine's hall to study yday afternoon. went for cell. no teaching but got feasting..haha. we had pizzas and kfc stuffs for dinner, watched this rather touching show and we based our discussion after that on that show. all of us shared a little about what could we learn from that show. had a little prayer before we end off. looked through the photo album on eileen's wedding day; had a glimpse of lilian dancing and shuhei and wayne trying to catch some steps..haha...hilarious!! went back to ntu with arlene. studied with germaine till 4 before we slept.
she woke up at 11 while me the piggy..at 1130. haha. had lunch from canteen 5; saw steph when i went to dabao. [hrm..forbidden word!!]..studied a little den i came home liao. yup..going to slack/rest for a while den i start studying later again..
going to send wayne off tmr..wonder who is going. i think is going to be quite a crowd. well..oh yeah..thanks wayne! for the cd..haha..so sweet of you to pass me before u leave huh? ..hahah. i like track 3..[of course manz..ah-ma song]..
yeah..to all ntu people out there..study really hard yah? most of us have less than or about half a month to go before we end all our papers and den..the fun begins yah? yep..so study hard for the next 10+ days or so.. take care of urself too..
as for the rest of you..study hard too..yuppie..
haf a nice but
fruitful day ahead k??
//posted by ivy @ 15:17//
Wednesday, October 23, 2002
wah..
stressedjunli finished his mktg liao..!! can't believe it..ahh~~ power-man..
i juz had my lunchie..had veggy, eggy and meatty..haha..everything oso have. going to bathe and go germ's hall. can't study at home for nuts. should be staying over at her hall tonight oso. that is if shuyi is still staying over at ****'s house..haha!
hmm..plan for today:..
1. study IT till 6+
2. go for cell.
3. start studying for econs at around 12 till maybe 4
4. sLeEp.
5. maybe meet norman for IT discussion..with germs as well..but that depends.
that's about it.. gor did a good thing by sending me that dumb sms. and junli and chengkiat too..by the icq msgs..make me scared now... realised that i dun have
much time left..
received a sms from matt see this morning..it says:
trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight...
//posted by ivy @ 13:11//
morning peoplez..hmm..i woke up at 10+..not bad huh? hehe..
din study much yday..stoned more than i studied but well..haha. tok to damien for about an hour last nite..hah..crapping and gossiping. went to eat mee goreng after that cos i too hungry liao. oh manz..at this rate, im reali going to grow fat. sighz..attempted to read through my IT after supper, only managed to read a few pages before i fell asleep and enter into lala-land.
and that
beng chuan!!..so irritating~
sms me at like
6+ in the morning with such a message:
"hey, i've been studying till now, hardworking rite? u should be still sleeping now..haha."..i was like
'whoa!!'..stressed lehz..have to wake me up from my beauty sleep to read such a message..how you expect me to sleep peacefully after that rite...haiz.
anyway..i still got my afternoon to read through the chapter which i din finish last nite.
hmmm..junli just icq me..says he's stressed..wah?!! he stressed den i more stressed ah. he so genius liao still say cannot finish doin his readings..den what about me??
~help...going for cell later in the evening..
//posted by ivy @ 11:42//
Tuesday, October 22, 2002
im bored.
//posted by ivy @ 21:49//
you dun care about me anymore...tears...
//posted by ivy @ 16:39//
okie...i shall declare that tag-board is driving me crazy..forever having some problems.
i thought it was juz mine until i took a look at other blogs which have tag-board as well and i realised we are all having the same problem.
anyway..you know what's my greatest wish now? oh manz...i wish there's someone who can study mktg for me..i dun ask for much, juz mktg. the rest i can do myself. mktg is an impossible subject to master..nutty subject~ and after going through 12 lects and 12 tutorials..i still have no idea what im supposed to do during an exam. the only thing i learnt about mktg is that it's all about 'making tricia happy with what i wirte'..mayb if i try that, i can pass my paper without even attempting to read that thicky-killer textbook.
you think so? hrm..
//posted by ivy @ 16:32//
juz had my lunchie..sleepy feeling again but well, i woke up at 11+..ha~
juz read arlene's blog..wah gal, you so efficient yday ah? hmm..motivation for me to study today but that's if i can..haha.
ultimate "prisoner dilemma" manz..okie, for those who dun understand, it's an econs term. the unit downstairs is drilling like they nv drilled before and my dad is watching a show. i guess their dominant strategy is to do what they wanna do and at the volume in which they prefer. but cos of the drills, my dad can't hear wad's on the tv and so he increase the volume. the drills juz got louder and louder for wadever reason and so my dad increase the volume more. and poor me..the only thing that enters my brainy is the drilling sound and the tv..both trying to out-"sound" one another. argh..
hehz...my econs not bad huh? hehehe..*like real**puke puke*
read through a chapter on tort juz now for biz law, realised there's quite a lot of stuffs i dunno yet. oopsie...shall wait for yanyang to call me when he gets home to clear my doubts. or for gor to msg me if he ever got my icq msg that says that i dunno anything about tort..haha. well, he claims that he's done everything for biz law so i suppose he'll know.
hrm..okie..i go watch tv liao..since i can't study with the drills and the increasing volume of the tv, i might as well join my dad to watch rite? .hehe
//posted by ivy @ 13:16//
Monday, October 21, 2002
//posted by ivy @ 19:31//
im starting to dislike being at home..
last year it was lidat too so i spent my days studying outside or at shuhei's house..beginning this year, things start to get better a little..in fact, i dun mind my mum being around anymore, even when im studying. but now..argh..back to square 1. not the nagging part but more of my dad is starting to get on my nerves. sometimes, he pisses my mum off too.
well..and the knocking and drilling downstairs are not helping me to be in good mood. get so irritated at times. but im too lazy to bring my books and travel. last time in sa, still can study in reading room or cor library..now is not possible. dun like to go ntu's lib 1. canteen is too hot, oily and tempting. not like the canteen back in sa. well..nvm..shan't make such a big fuss about it cos whether or not i have a good place to study dun reali make much of a difference now. i dun think im going to do well..that's it~..
din study much today. covered 2 chapters of econs which i could have easily done so in 3 hours if im not LDMR-ing.. but well.~ im not going to bother so much about this exam this time round. although it's going to be quite a waste if i dun score cos im taking the easier modules this sem, but well, can't be helped. at the back of my mind, im like thinking..okie, i'll study hard next sem but somehow, i know it's juz a thought to make myself feel better. quite a waste. have such good and caring classmates this sem; good project mates too. but..hehz..anyway..
i shall go attempt to do something constructive before i watch tv later.at 1030. *couch potato* at work..
//posted by ivy @ 19:20//
i feel so lethargic..no mood to do anything besides sleeping. but cannot lahz..slept a lot these 3 days.
i was juz sharing with arlene what a special day it's been today. in the way of how God has drawn me closer by a step, how He has shown me some stuffs which i've ignored/pushed aside. guess is reali a wonder when we reflect on the way He speaks, times He chooses to reveal things to us. when eric chong told me that im supposed to teach this week, my initial reaction wasn't a nice one. i mean, i din show a black face or protest violently but i wasn't pleased that i was scheduled to share this week and the topic was supposed to be tina's. but still, i din have a choice. was complaining to arlene about it. well ger, i think you understand how i felt there and then.
prepared my lesson yday and this morning..din know that it will have such a deep impact today. esp after i heard mel's testimony..i was like 'God..is this what you are trying to tell me?..'..it can't be a coincidence. i was assigned a topic which was meant to be for tina to share and this topic wasn't meant for today's bs oso..and it just ties in so closely to mel and si-er's testimonies. that's when i know that it's Him..
although this has been a great sunday..haven reali experienced such intimacy of Him speaking for such a long time. it's like sometimes when we are far from a person; you dun reali expect anything from that person. same thing..when we are far from Him..or rather im far from Him. i din expect that He will speak. din expect that He showed me areas in my life which He wants me to change. din expect cos i haven been asking Him. so all these came as a shock..
but then again..although im feeling joyful today, i know it wun last. i can feel it. certain things are juz bottling in within. times and times again, they come back and hit me. the reality. perhaps i can understand a tinge of how audrey feels.
the feeling is horrible; disgusting; unbearable. and i mean
unbearable..
i know there's no point pushing those issues underneath and pretend that nothing of such had happened or they are not going to affect me at all. lies. i wanna thank all those out there who have been patient; been there for me. i know sometimes, the reasons why i feel down are the same. they are just recurring patterns. i can't help it. at times when they come back..i dun wan to avoid, no strength to push them away. i know i need to hang on to Him..but u hang on to me too alrite? dun let me go..i dun wan to go through things alone. it reali helps to have someone hanging on to you and telling you that things are going to be fine. esp..in the midst of exams now.
i remember someone once held on to me..was there for me throughout the entire time when i was just crying and crying. shivering and scared. taunted. but he was there; he never let me go. he let me know that he will be there..no matter what happened. those words seemed simple to come out of one's mouth but to prove it through actions is a tough task. but he did it. accompanied me the entire night. and i was so glad for that. and i know the importance of that. of someone who is so willing to be there for me. of someone who cares and wants to see me being alright. so i ask that..frens, hang on to me yah? for once i can honestly tell u that im
scared..i dun wan to end up as a depressed gal..no..not ever..
i wun be surprised if i do badly for this sem's exams. im studying but at a tremendously slow rate. can't absorb much. and most of the time, im stoning. i dun wan to retake my modules. quite scary to have that thought running across my head. i juz hope i pass everything.. i have to.
//posted by ivy @ 00:11//
Sunday, October 20, 2002
had a long day..well, not reali long but more of cos of the many things that happened..they made it seems like reali a long day..~~
supposedly to wake up at 5 today but din manage to cos my dad's frens were still around at 5..in the
morning..so i went back to dreamland; woke up at 8. and i freaked out cos i haven prepare my sharing for youth. read thru last nite but haven do the worksheets. did them in 30 mins time, printed them out, bathe and went for svc..
service was great. the worship especially. had drums today, the worship more "drummy" now..haha. initially thought the sermon was quite sianz cos the speaker quite "stony"..but as i listened on..it starts to make sense to me. testimonies were great. the one by mel made me think a lot. esp the one when she shared about wanting to skip youth/qt to study..it's a temptation and to my horror..(and i mean horror..), i then realised that im going to share abt trials and temptations during youth...i was like 'whoa!!'..one of the time when God speaks through testimonies and His Word. initially i juz pushed it away but somehow, they seem to linger around..and refuse to go till i set myself aside to ponder abt it.
youth was okie. din expect such attendance. quite a big crowd. stayed for a while after youth, well, juz decided to. and praise God..cos joan, shuyi and peixuan accepted Christ..
went down to talk to you today but i guess it was still quite awkward. but i juz wanna tell you that u played well..for God. reali. yup..at home now. stoning. going to start studying at 6 till maybe 4 in the night. den i'll sleep in the morning tmr cos reno. work..noisy. can't study so might as well sleep. haha. juz hope i dun fall asleep in the midst of reading my texts.
i have a lot more things to share with you readers but i guess im juz too lazy to type. but i know one thing that's for sure. He has not left me..and He will never leave me..
--description of sunday morning/afternoon.
//posted by ivy @ 16:40//
Saturday, October 19, 2002
woke up not long ago..was quite tired so juz let myself sleep on though my hp rang at 830 and 930..
i juz realised i haven prepare for sharing during youth tmr..oops!!~
later..
not going to blog for the next 12 hours so in the meanwhile, u can take the quizes below to de-stress..haha~. hope they help..
take care my dear frens..
//posted by ivy @ 10:45//
juz reached home not very long ago. yup..had an okie day. study. eat. slack.
haha..
Take this Quiz
//posted by ivy @ 00:05//
Friday, October 18, 2002
wad a thing i juz did..i skipped the last tutorial of the sem/year. best rite? and i din intend to..set my alarm to ring at 7 but well, i trust that it did so it was juz my hand slamming it down and turning my body back to my comfortable position to continue my beauty sleep. well...it's over oredi so i shan't complain abt it.
at home now, and i think i wun be going out today to study. shall stay at home and be a goodie gal. haven been at home since monday and have been returning home late as well. i juz hope/pray hard that the reno. work is minimal today and for the rest of the days till 30 nov. well, they have been knocking and drilling for the past weeks or so..so it's reasonable to hope for minimal reno. work now rite? if this goes on, the flat will be holey manz..haha..
everyone seems to be falling sick..i better not...
//posted by ivy @ 11:26//
Thursday, October 17, 2002
my phone juz rang..the tune that sounded shocked me a little.
i changed my profile today to one which i seldom use and that ringtone was "unpredictable"..din noe till my phone rang..
well....nvm..u wun understand..
okie..back to econs..
//posted by ivy @ 17:12//
im bored now..been studying since 2..den slack since 4.30..haha
at arlene's hall now, with her roomie..
she will be coming back late...im bored from studying but seems like i've got no choice..haha.
chee wei's birthday today..not that close to him, maybe i'll just sms him later..yah, i shld lahz. gor's
good fren..hehz.
i love you; i love you; i love you
i love you; i love you; i love you
i love you; i love you; i love you
and my heart will follow wholly after you..---description of thurs' afternoon.
//posted by ivy @ 17:09//
morning everyone..
hrm..i ended up sleeping at 4+ last night..woke up at 1030 juz now..
not going to blog much these few weeks. busy with exams lahz..yup, i going over to arlene's hall soon..cos my hse cannot make it..haha..the reno. work is going to last for another 2 weeks..
what a timing huh? hehz...
and i feel so blessed when i have frens who are willing to study in school with me..and of course arlene, who offered to lend me her room..thanks people.~~
to all ntu people, study real hard yah? econs paper is less than 2 weeks away..and the end of exams is only around 3 weeks more..yeah..
to non-ntu people, study hard too cos urs is after ours..hahaah
//posted by ivy @ 11:01//
im
stressed and
sleepy...
have been awake for more than 17 hours now..and the only thing i did thruout was to read my texts..stressed lehz~
wanna complete another chpt of biz law b4 i go zzz...
wanted to go slp at 1 juz now but the thought of not being able to complete my revision made me stayed up. i juz drank one huge cup of hot milo and 2 slices of peanut-butter and cheese bread. make myself full den wun fall asleep so easily. think i'll sleep at ..hrm..5? maybe...
and tmr i shall wake up at 10. dunno if that's possible..sounds ambitious..
have the sudden urge to go work-out..as in going gym..
im obviously going
crazy...dun u agree? argh....all exams' fault..
good nitez..i mean
good morning...
//posted by ivy @ 03:13//
went to buy guitar strings..den met tina and gilbert..
went school to study cos too noisy at home liao. canteen 5. usual place.
beng chuan came to pass me the cd-rom; arlene stopped to say hi too..
nothing happening today. mainly juz reading texts and talking while LDMR-ing..haha..
maybe going arlene's hall to study tmr afternoon..see how first. quite weird lahz, dun reali know wanjun well..
//posted by ivy @ 00:10//
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
*scratch head*..
where shall i study today? my neighbour knocking his house down so very noisy lor..im going crazy here.
school is going to be crowded. lib is always crowded. hall canteen? hmm..mayb? i dunno...so sianz..
the 'dun worry, be happy' nice rite? arlene sent it to me last nite..and it was sent to her by matt..wonder who drew it? hrm...
//posted by ivy @ 10:26//
very nice...i like..
//posted by ivy @ 02:30//
slacking mode now..had a so-so day..
biz law tut was fine today. junli and gang sabo-ed me
again..i knew it. they told me that oredi on mon..haha.
went canteen 5 to study with huijun, ate dinner den huijun left for home. arlene came down at 8+ to study with me. was reading my IT juz now..chimz..haha~
came home to watch my 'healing hands'..juz in time. actually, it was a good thing that i stayed with beng chuan and huijun yday till so late. initially was quite sianz that i had to miss my show but i guess yday's episode not impt cos today's is the happy happy ending. so sweet..haha~ dun be jealous if u din get to catch it..ha!
thanks yanyang. it's very nice of you to burn the cd for me. kinda unexpected thou u told me this morning oredi, i thought u were going to pass it to me after the papers..guess i thot wrongly huh? hehz..thankew..
i'll be studying till late..as usual..ha. bored and sianz of studying den gif me a call lahz. and i will most prob disturb huijun and gor later when im sianz too..hahaah..
//posted by ivy @ 00:25//
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
examssss...when will 8 nov ever arrive??
//posted by ivy @ 10:31//
juz woke up..so tired.
wonder how much can i study today? hrm...
yanyang says he is going to burn a CD for me...haha.nice of you to do in the midst of exams thou..[or izzit going to come after exams?]..haha
//posted by ivy @ 10:21//
feelin tired and drained but a sense of accomplishment.
went for econs tut, had some fun. sabo-ed by junli and gang.haha. glad that i went. had much doubts solved when teck tien attempted to explain to me some stuffs, aaron and stepf too. thanks.
studied with beng chuan at s4 benches after that. completed 6 chpts of econs. huijun was sleepin so din join us.
she joined us for dinner thou. went canteen 3 for dinner and three of us continued studying again at canteen 5 till like 1130, when i had to go. arlene came to join us for a while. met norman on my way to the bus stop when beng chuan was walking me there. norman..wad's up? hehz...
tired now but i feel so motivated to finish my biz law tutorial b4 i sleep. want to lahz..after so much discussion juz now. it really helps. clearing one another's doubts, asking qns and understanding more. not a bad idea to decide to study after our dinner after all. and i think beng chuan and huijun are people who are great to study with.
okie..lala...im going to do my biz law tutorial now. muz finish by tonight. and tmr is another long day again. but well, it's worth it when im studying together with people who makes it productive...thanks gor..babe too!!
//posted by ivy @ 00:15//
Monday, October 14, 2002
check this out..quite an idiot game but fun when you are stressed..haha.~
--->de-stressing agent..<---
//posted by ivy @ 10:29//
slept at 3, woke up at 9...juz finished doin my econs tut.
dunno how i feeling now; dunno wad to feel.
was very surprised this morning when i received like 5 sms early in the morning, asking me to have a good day ahead.how?
going school later for last econs tutorial for the sem. after that, maybe meeting huijun, beng chuan and danwen to study. see how first.
i need to study. but how?
//posted by ivy @ 10:22//
ivy...
is sad.
have been controlling it the whole day, since friday.
if you can tell..
just let me cry...there's no point in holding back anymore. the more i try to hold back, the worse i feel. the more i try to pretend that nothing is serious, the more i am depressed. the more i try to shrug it away and tell myself that im going to be okay, the more hurt i felt. the more people try to be nice, the more i feel like rejecting. the more i listen, the more i drift myself away. maybe, i should just lock myself up in a cage, then no one can have access to me. i wun have to face anyone. i wun have to get out. i'll just stay inside.
im feeling so ......argh~ nvm!..nothing helps. no one can help.
how does it feel to be drowned in sorrows? how does it feel to get drunk on upsetting issues? how does it feel when u are at the lowest point and people dun help u up but push you in deeper? how does it feel to get neglected by someone? how does it feel when someone simply ignores you? how does it feel??
tell me.
u dunno? well..i do.
//posted by ivy @ 00:46//
Sunday, October 13, 2002
juz had dinner..feeling lethargic and sleepy. somehow, this is always the feeling when i know that i got to study/do tutorial. psychological effect?? ha.
no IT tut tmr so can go school in the afternoon. first time. well, unless u count the time when i overslept and therefore, skipped lahz.haha.
was irritated by
r..well, juz hope that
r gets the point! i'll go crazy if
r dun. driving me up the wall and down again..~~
morning svc was okie. pastor spoke on luke 8; youth was..hrm, okie i guess. arlene shared on 'love'..agape love. i was quite distracted the whole day, the whole week, the whole month in fact.
arlene..i know how you feel. im feeling the same way too. but u know what? im going to "give up"..somehow, i need to make this decision. not going to let this affect my exams. anything can always wait till after my papers. hehz..let's juz hope i can..
miss your lovely smiles
your eyes which seems to smile
miss your lovely voice
the words which came with poise
why must i cry because of you?
why must i be depressed because of you?
why must i be distracted because of you?
because
i love you.
//posted by ivy @ 20:21//
ignore me for all you can
you think i care?
i dun give a heck
call yourself a fren?
someone who is there always?
forget it..
you dun live up to it.~~~description of sunday afternoon.
//posted by ivy @ 16:05//
WALKING ON THE WATERS:
it's really not easy
is it
having to go through your days like this
trying not to notice
yourself drowning
that you're not floating like
you thought you were
and nobody's around
as much as you hoped
and no one does care
like you thought
they cared
like
the way you really wanted them to care
i'll be here
come on
hold my hand
i won't let you go
if you lose we lose together
i'll find a way for both of us
hold tight
you always make me float
for once i'll try to make you float
what if
what if i can't
and lose too
and lose you too
looking
looking to him then
he looks bigger
bigger than the water
than the waves
and the tides gripping
around our hearts and our souls
hold me no more
then hold him
tight as you can
don't ever let go
and look at him
we keep our eyes on him
and we
discover
we discover we can
we walk
on the water.
--->
adrian ke<---
//posted by ivy @ 16:00//
Saturday, October 12, 2002
tHe SaD fAcTthe story of a gal and guy...
she knows him for quite some time. they have been good frens, close frens. he treats her well, she treats him well too. he is kind, considerate, caring and has a sense of humour which attracts her. she is pretty, caring and sporty. his soft words always melt her heart. her frens told her he has feelings for her. she refuses to believe them. she loves him but there is something she dun like about him. he is a popular guy and is always surrounded by girls. so she told him about how she feels though they are not even together. he says he will take note of that. unbelievable but she told him about her feelings towards him. he takes in the fact and remains neutral. he did not ask her to give up or to continue. he treats her as per normal, as if nothing has ever happened. sometimes, he seems close to her, paying much attention to her in front of his frens but sometimes, he seems to be just a friend. he is only attached once till now. he told her he is picky about girlfriends. she is just confused now. she wants to know if he has any feeling towards her but she dunno how.okie..end of story. well, actually not the end lah but cos i only know till here. to me, it seems a sad ending because the guy is not doing anything even after she has told him she likes him. the fact that he still treats her so well makes the matter worse. well...i shall see how this story ends off..........
//posted by ivy @ 20:30//
"it may take a day, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime for you to know that i love you...but whatever it is, i want you to know that i do love you...you may not love me, we may not be together but i'll wait for you...simply cos i love you."this is a small ripped-off from anne's blog. gal, u dun mind rite? hehz.
//posted by ivy @ 20:16//
can't study at all today. weather so hot; my aircon dun seem to help much. plus the renovation work goin on downstairs..very noisy. it's the unit directly downstairs somemore! i can feel the 'earthquake' when they drill and knock.
so slack mode. im in deep trouble. got less than 20 days to my econs paper but i haven even started. die lahz.
im~
//posted by ivy @ 17:36//
Friday, October 11, 2002
juz came back from taka with my mum. she gave me a scare juz now. asked me to accompany her to taka to buy support pillows so i met her after my lect. she was still okie on the way there. then she started to feel giddy and felt like vomiting. was quite bad and i was in a loss. dunno wad to do. so i juz waited till she felt a little better, den took cabby home. she vomited in the cabby..but not in the cab itself lah. and she was complaining of dizziness and was breaking out in cold sweat. wanted to bring her to the doctor but she refused to go. said that she felt better after vomiting, dun wan to go. no choice.
quite worried now. dunno wad's wrong oso and she dun wan to go for check-up, dun trust the doctor. she trust chinese doctor more. but well..i dun..
yup...juz a little request. for those of u readers who are christians, pls pray for her yah? thankew.
im in a sianz mode today..very. dunno why. dun feel like typing anymore.
the smile on your face
let me know you'll not leave me
the truth in your eyes
let me know you'll be with me
izzit true??
//posted by ivy @ 21:59//
slept at 4+ last nite and had to wake up at 7 cos got morning lessons. nv been so tired for the entire sem manz.. but well, at least everything is cleared now oredi. presentations all done, reports handed in; now juz waiting for exams to come..ha.
today for lect, think the class very united. it's the second last lecture and we were all sitting together, two rows. comparing to the first lecture i went to, the atmosphere was so different. everyone so close now..i become closer to yanyang, beng chuan, shiyun, teck tien, and the rest..im really gonna miss this class manz. hopefully can get a chalet, if not bbq den. mus depend on junli to book the chalet now.
back home but got another lect later, the last for this semester. the last time that we all can sit together and crap as a class.haha. sob sob.. supposed to be doing some readings before going for lect later..but a little lazy. germs wun be going for lect later..wonder if norman is going?
met adeline and magdelene for lunch, shared a little about our work and stuffs..okie, shall go do my readings liao..wun be online so early tonight. going out with mummy to taka to buy stuffs den im coming home to catch 'healing hands 2'..sad manz, suki got seriously injured cos of paul..haha..like u know wad i toking abt.anyway, it's the show. suki is a babe..so i dun wan her to die..ha.
ciao~ take care. im sleepy....
//posted by ivy @ 15:00//
Thursday, October 10, 2002
im back..and im hungry. din get to eat my dinner cos was too rushed liao. lectures were okie today. for once, i went for both lects and i was on time.haha.
went ktv with shiyun, beng chuan and chee wei. the new k.box at cck. very cool. very nice place, high-tech and yet, it's cheap. bill was only 40+ for the four of us, including drinks which were free..haha~ i sang a little only. here and there when i know the songs. chee wei sang a lot. practically every song. haha. i tried to do a rap with him oso. sang a-mei's [ji de]..nice~
cos i had to rush back school for crusade meeting so gor being gor..decided to be nice and play his gor's role..he took cabby with me back home to take my stuffs and den to school again..and he paid..haha.
crusade was ok. played for lena. last minute change of chords for some songs but overall, it was fine..quite encouraged by ezel, huizhi, lena, peiling..
okie..tonight dun need sleep liao..haha~ got report to rush..well..u take care!
p/s: oh manz..tina scored 100 for the quiz??!!! how can that possibly happen??!! hahahahah..
pp/s: oh..thanks gor..for being so nice today..thankew
//posted by ivy @ 21:13//
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
wah..so far only 1 or izzit 2 who took it? scared that u'll score 0 or u think u'll easily score 100?? hahaha.
how well do you know me? try this out den...hehz!!
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!
//posted by ivy @ 18:11//
rushing report. *type type type flip flip flip*...i've been doin that since 12 noon. so far, i've only done 1/3 of my report. so exhausted. my eyes felt as though they are going to pop out this very minute.
beng chuan was 'jio-ing' people for ktv tmr, after lect. organised by shiyun. mayb i'll go, mayb not. anyway, it's not confirmed yet.
thanks arlene. u've been a great sis. always there when i need some1 most.
//posted by ivy @ 18:08//
her tears stopped. drained. she has no strength left to cry. a strong-willed girl at the surface; a broken-hearted girl in within. no one ever knows what to do with her, except you. she is tired. tired of acting strong. tired of being forced to be strong cos she's a leader. tired of having to be strong cos she dun wan others to worry. she is juz she..a vulnerable girl. easily broken. broke
she's juz like any girl out there. no matter how strong she may seems, there's always this little part that desires to be loved, to be cared for, to be fussed over..she has been good.she din drink; din smoke; din do things that weren't nice. she juz remains where she fell. do you ever care?
//posted by ivy @ 18:03//
ivy is..crying
she doesn't know how to stop. she doesn't know what to do. she wants someone. anyone.
never felt so lost. so hurt.so troubled. so bothered. so vulnerable. so depressed.
i wanna tok to gor..gor, are u there?
//posted by ivy @ 01:21//
i spent the last hour reading someone's blog juz now. it's a she. i wun say who but i really admire her. somehow, i think im juz like her in a way, in a way that's hard to comprehend.
i love you. i dare say i love you still. why hide when i know im juz denying and lying to myself if i say no..i've forgotten you long ago. u brought me so much joy, happiness, sadness, hurt. i remembered the night when i was toking to u on the phone. late into the night. a lot of things were revealed. my days changed from that moment on. we started getting close, more times of going out together. catching shows. having meals. though we were together for a short period, that time probably hurt me the most. insecure and helpless. no one to turn to when i was sad. i got over it when we first parted. i had to. was failing my exams.
things remained unchanged, thou a little distanced but we knew our feelings. they were there. strong. days passed, weeks passed. it was getting nearer and nearer to 27th may..i wanted to spend it with u.no one else. i did. beforehand celebration. watched a show. things changed 180 degrees after the show. happy and delighted. joyous day. the wrong started. that night. that very night we got together. the months to come were of ups and downs. issues of jealousy, insecurity set in. shouts of anger, of insults hurled in. tears flowed. heart wounded. through it all, i still said sorry. i forgave. i hung on to you, to this relationship i thought would last. im wrong. so wrong. till now, i wun forget how we broke up. i can't. the hurt is still there.
times and times again, memories come swarming back. bits and pieces. the times of closeness, the times of argument, the times of going though rough patches, the times of facing stress. the times when i could hold you and say i love you. the times when i could hold you and hug you. the times when u were mine.
i often wondered if i could be yours once again. if u would be mine again. i guess not. i dunno. u've left such a deep impact in my life. the deepest and the darkest; yet the brightest. how would anyone ever take ur place? u taught me what was love. what it meant to love someone. the meaning behind the word which is ever so strong.
thank you for the love. for the hurt.
//posted by ivy @ 01:01//
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
too bored today. put a lot of new stuffs in my blog today. all the funny quizes and tests. go do if u free lor. do the quiz lahz..and see how u fare..ha..haf fun guys/gals. u all take care. me too~~
//posted by ivy @ 22:21//
back from a long day..
biz law tutorial was stoning session..i din do my tut so juz copied wadeva she wrote on the board.
met lena to practice the songs. quite jialat cos a lot of difficult chords. my fingers oso red liao. raw and red. sounds like ?? lobster?.haha.
went dinner with damien. swensens. actually supposed to be my treat cos i owe him an ice-cream but he paid in the end. went pasam-malam for a while. he da-bao food for his frens. saw anthony. tok to him for a while. he was talking to me abt IT project.
came home. slack. wanted to do my report. due on friday but no mood. as usual. shall do it tmr. tmr reali muz pia finish the report.sianz. still....i going to watch my 'healing hands' later..addicted..haha~~
images flashed by without a 'hi'
the day went by without saying 'bye'
answer to request came at last
it was too late i shaln't ask..
thoughts flowed
words travelled
minds wandered
they got lost
>>>description of tuesday
//posted by ivy @ 22:20//
how well do you know me? try this out den...hehz!!
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!
//posted by ivy @ 22:08//
Which Avril Lavigne Song Are You?
//posted by ivy @ 11:27//
i'm a pup.what kinda pet are you?
quiz made by muna.
//posted by ivy @ 11:23//
//posted by ivy @ 11:15//
haha..it's somehow an expected reaction when u people come and tell me the guy is norman. well...this better stop here and not spread to debbie's ear..otherwise..******!!!~~~~ my head will roll on the floor..!! hrm..aiyo, people are juz so gossipy..can't believe it when my fren first told me..this kinda thing oso can happen in uni..kpo people~ and i shall hereby declare that me and norman are FRENS..and he is attached!!~ okie....
later me and yen pin shall go ask the class whether they wan a chalet at the end of the year..or mayb juz an outing cos might not be able to book liao. i asked some of them last nite.response all the same..:'wah okok, i very long nv go chalet liao cos army mah'...haha.typical guy's answer. yup..shall see how den.
im so
dead ..cos i haven do my biz law tutorial yet..in a slack mode today...too slack liao..
//posted by ivy @ 10:28//
Monday, October 07, 2002
this is a ripped-off from a conversation of me and my fren in icq last nite..if you can guess who is the person im supposedly close to..tell me..and maybe i'll give you a treat for that. have been trying to dig info. from this fren of mine but apparently, failed.
[chi siang]: hey you..heard gossips abt ya in ntu leh..hahz.
[ivy]: wad??!! gossip?
[chi siang]: yeahz!!
[ivy]: can't be lorz.wrong person izzit..i not tt popular in ntu lor..
[chi siang]: heard from my fren that ya and this guy is pretty close in ntu..hahaz.!
[ivy]: who ur fren? and who the guy?
[chi siang]: my fren u dunno one larz..and i dunno who d guy..
[ivy]: huh? if i dunno ur fren den how ur fren knows me??
[chi siang]: okie..to cut the long story short..the guy whom u r supposedly close to is a fren of my fren and my fren knows you..i dunno how..but yahz..
[ivy]: but..im not close to any guy in ntu..except one of my fren whom i hang out wif during lect..and the rest of my tut mates..
[chi siang]: well..mayb iz tt lect guy lor..i dunno.
[ivy]: but he's attached lor..please..
[chi siang]: hahz. i oso dunno. juz my fren tell me onez.
[ivy]: hmmm.okie. 4get it..hahaha..im more blur than u..
yeah ..wad toking he..?? dun tell me is norman..if so, then that's bad cos ppl is attached liao..and me and germs will be in deep soup..who izzit??? argh..~~ *scratch head*
//posted by ivy @ 16:59//
IT presentation was okie..we din reali do our 'relationship' part well so purposely skipped that during the presentation and juz glad that edna reid din request to see it.ha.
econs quiz was okie i guess. i got 8/10. supposedly 7/10 cos i changed one answer juz before submission.
could have gotten 10/10 cos lester was letting us see this piece of paper with all the answers on it. courtesy of junli and elwyn. but well..as you can see, me being the good gal, din change my answers.
if only......haha~ not fair lehz..beng chuan got 10/10 when he copied chengkiat's and aaron's..and both only got 8 and 9..this is ridiculous. all copying skills needed today..bound to score if u have..but well, im okie with my grades. so nvm..~
got tuition later..sianz. but well..wad to do rite? haha..think i shall slack a little tonite..juz do my biz law tut can liao..been studying for the weekends..too tired oredi.haha.
yeah!! next week supposedly got IT tutorial 12--last tutorial session but edna reid says she wun be coming so officially, i dun have to go for any IT tutorial anymore..yeah!!
fingers typing the scenes that happened.
legs carrying you who walked in.
smiles brightening up my day.
heart missing you this moment.>>>description of monday morning.
//posted by ivy @ 16:46//
Sunday, October 06, 2002
thanks
tina,
arlene..
for checking on me today. sorrie for not replying your sms..din reali feel like doing so and i juz din wanna tok today.
yup..u two take care.
//posted by ivy @ 20:49//
went back skool with yanyang to study/do work/do readings. well..kinda okie lahz. i din complete everything but done the majority oredi. now still got IT and a few more chapters for econs to go before tmr..doom-day!~
hey con-boy..you are not bad a driver huh? haha..yup, think i have a safe driver today..[only when u attempted to show me how you used to brake last time..]..
okie..shall go do work liao..can't afford to neglect my IT presentation stuffs tmr. impt thing. and of course..the dreaded
quiz..
dun fall.dun snore.dun cheat.wadever..haha..[crapping]
//posted by ivy @ 20:32//
yanyang is trying to understand what i mean by the
orange quotes below..haha~ try harder..!!
actually i dun mean anything of importance. juz a feeling. a thought that runs through my mind as i was typing juz now. a thought that came as a nausea feeling as i thought of what happened the past few days and the past few weeks. a feeling of happiness, sadness...times of joy and disappointment...
okie yanyang..so i guess u dun have to try so hard..haha~
//posted by ivy @ 12:43//
dun feel quite good now..as in physically.
think is cos i never reali fully recovered last week and i have been sleeping at queer hours. and waking up at queer timing too. can't reali help it, a lot of things to be done. think i got even more for the week to come. juz hope i dun fall reali sick.
playing for lena for crusade this thrus. a bit stressed cos no keyboard, only got guitar. ha~.
wanting to give up.
wanting to throw all thoughts.
a feeling of nausea.
a feeling of uneasiness.
never intended.
never knew.
brother and sister.
hand-in-hand.
//posted by ivy @ 11:39//
Saturday, October 05, 2002
back from school.read thru my econs chpt 27, did the tests and 3/4 of my tutorial. can't do my tut juz now cos my pencil was 'stolen'..haha!! ate teriyaki salmon for dinner.nice~
a heart that yearns
a heart that waits
patiently for you
and just for you~
//posted by ivy @ 21:45//
going to study with yanyang later..sheez..got the econs quiz to rush. argh!!~
maybe i shall heed god-bro's advise and sit behind suria and winnie. bound to score! ha.
i miss drums.the feeling of whacking them while listening to someone play the guitar.trying to fit in the tempo and beats while not knowing what song was being played on the guitar till after that..well, basically..i miss it.
badly.
will be going for service tmr but not youth. i need to study. for once, i feel the need to do so. simply cos i failed my first test.haha.
okie..see u guys/gals. i shall refrain from coming online so often. think broadband and that 'healing hands 2' are the culprits behind the fact that i've not been reading up these few days. it's become a habit to come online straight after i came home and stayed till the wee hours of the night and i will spend 1.5 hrs watching the show too. but well..kinda hard to resist all these.haha. and juz when i wanna sleep and d/c..the comp will go 'oh-oh' and u will see me online for the next 10 mins. ha.
buai.take care. dun fall.
you study hard..yah?
//posted by ivy @ 10:45//
juz watched 'healing hands 2'..now comtemplating whether to sleep or icq..cos my online list suddenly expanded. let's see..any happening stuffs going on..??
orh..gor so scared now..cos he saw the speed camera flashed when he was riding so maybe it's him, maybe not..haha. next time ride slower lah..below 100km/h..!! ha!
juz told wayne im going to miss him when he leaves. he sure has been a blessing these 2 years+..great to know him.me and arlene thinking of giving him a treat before he leaves, that is if we manage to grab him.ha
k lah..save u readers the agony..i shall go sleep now. if not, u'll be reading some alien languages later and probably dun even know what im trying to type.ha~
nitez guys.gals.dude.babe.you
//posted by ivy @ 00:48//
Friday, October 04, 2002
proj today was quite
bad...in the sense that our points aren't reali strong enough to support our stand..stronger to support another stand..haha. but well..i think overall, we still did ok. juz gotta brush up on our final report now..which we got 7 days to come up with..
went for lunch with germs and norman..ate chicken katsu don..nice.~~ arlene joined us too while she was waiting for matty. went god-brother's hall after lunch, did my IT stuffs, read thru econs powerpt, attempted to do pre-tests while they were playing some games..and most importantly..i watched
the movie..haha..nice, touching movie..~
biz law lect was okie..kinda short..norman bought yakult for us..out of the blue..haha!! went dinner with yanyang and ricky..[usual people].
now im back home..yakking about my day..which wasn't exactly fantastic.
a moment of warmth swept through me
a tingling closeness never in view
a moment of gentleness and care
sweeping me away into you...a description of you right beside me...~
//posted by ivy @ 22:30//
Thursday, October 03, 2002
wah liao!!~~
stressedit's a
marketing day today..got mktg proj powerpt to complete..mktg presentation write-up..mktg dilemma to prepare..
argh!!~~late for
mktg lect today, haha. took a cabby down. yanyang printed notes for me cos my printer went 'coocoo' last nite..econs lect was bored and sianz. i dun understand anything, nv read up last nite. im in trouble cos the lect today is included in the quiz next week and mine is on MON!! (of all days)..sianz~
jinhang leaving tmr. that's fast. seemed like last week, he juz came back. time reali passes fast. i remembered the time when jinhang was leaving for japan for the first time..was pretty close to him then, tok a lot. and as a result,
he wasn't happy..argued over it. that was so long ago but yet..it's still up here..[brain]. and when jinhang came back last year end for christmas, he took a picture of
us too..still in my folder though.. well..
end of memory..haha.~
im lost...
//posted by ivy @ 19:22//
Wednesday, October 02, 2002
juz finished doin my own slides for the presentation on fri..20 slides!! haha..but the powerpoint is almost done liao.
got tuition later..quite sianz. but she's paying me today so maybe not
that sianz. crappy ivy..~~
damien..you very spoil market for the rest of the GE students..haha. look at them, they where got so enthu about proj. even eugene oso half-dead and he's
not GE student. hah. glad to have you in the group and you know what? im
100% sure and convinced that the rest thinks the same way too!! study hard yah?? *smiles*
//posted by ivy @ 17:46//
back from school..went skool to zap the cases for some of them juz now. met beng chuan, passed them to him so that he can pass them to the guys/gals later. came home, eat lunch and now, trying to figure out what's SWOT..haha.
[thanks..guys!]damien..yanyang..beng chuan..zhongfa..thanks for being there last nite.juz toking to me over icq, over the fone and even offering to come down to my place..being there when i needed someone but yet, i know all of u were busy with ur stuffs. thanks! appreciate it..u all are so wonderful people..esp damien (uncle)..hah.
damien, we muz be the closest mktg group around huh? u GE student oso dun look like GE student..hahaeverybody take care.~ you included and me included.
//posted by ivy @ 14:24//
[someone let me cry..wun you?]
//posted by ivy @ 00:47//
i wanna cry..i dun wan to hold back..
i dun wan to..i dun wish to.
//posted by ivy @ 00:06//
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
im....
sad, depressed, disappointed..over
this and i think it's damn dumb..
but i can't help it.
it definitely wasn't a nice feeling in class today, not at all. but yet, i dun have to feel this way..
and u'll ask..den why am i feelin this way rite?
precisely..idiot..why am i feeling upset and unhappy over
this??
dun have to..dun wan to either. but it's so hard.!
nvm if you dun understand..u wun..only a few will..and they most likely wun get to read this so nvm..
let's see who knows and understand how i feel..--germs, jennifer, norman.... that's abt it i guess..and they dunno abt my blog yet..haha~
[to you]quit being so nice and gentlemently. u can't make it. im kinda sure of that. u can be a good fren, but nothing more than that i guess. well..wadeva.okie..back to civilisation. nvm if u dun understand the alien language above. today was quite a hazzle. went skool with adrian, met chee wei on the way, had a 2 hr tut thou, which i was on the verge of sleeping and breaking down..hha~ met germs and the rest for food at can B..waited for danwen to come for discussion. i almost 'flipped' at the discussion. quite irritated..and well, i wasn't the only one..hah~ as i realized later on.. ate dinner, went with mummy to buy stuffs..and then im back here now..whining about something that u probably can't catch an inch.. but that's what blogs are for..ha~!
sheez...29 more days to my first paper..!! argh~~ sob sob sobby..
i am juz glad i din cry today..
//posted by ivy @ 22:20//
